A
Anonymous09/09/26, 07:29No.34905931Can't move on / panic attacks
I got turned down over the summer. Claimed she was asexual has never felt that way for anyone else.
She mentioned it before but thought she was sending me mixed signals.
Panic attack every time I remeber her turning me down.
She went on an exchange program this semester so think about her constantly.
Fear being "500 days of summered", constant panic attacks over if she finds a "better" british boyfriend she actually likes.
I've never had self esteem issues until now and I've never really been as down bad for a girl as I was for the past year.
I seriously can't move on, friends remind me constatly of her saying we were a nice couple and looked cute together (never told them I confessed and got turned down i kept that for myself and asked her to do the same).
I need actual help.
2
Replies
A
Anon09/09/26, 08:19No.34905970
500 days? how about 30 years? I've had 30 years of summer.all it takes is one girl to break you from your good times, that's the problem. tthere's always one girl and one or several incidents that you just can't fuggedaboutt.the thing I realized over the years is.... It's.... no longer about the girls. It's about us.
How we process failure.
We let failure make us make ourselves useless and sad and worthless. That's what I did. And guess what? now I'm sad, worthless, useless, and constantly suffering. perpetual agony. And I don't even feel it anymore. I'm so far into avoidance that I don't really feel it, It's a good thing in my opinion, I'd rather not feel it. But you know where I do feel it? when something hurts physically in my body. When I notice the passage of time, when I think about people who might like me that I don't acknowledge or talk to anymore.
hm.
I don't have much to tell you.
Other than, It's about you. Not about her.
you are the one inhabiting this body that carries out the actions of the thoughts that you have in your head. And if your thoughts are negative and infect your actions, then you know what, It's fucking pointless. It'll be meaningless unless you caan find a way to change your thoughts so that you can change your actions. If you can't do that then you'll remain indoors, with me. Suffering. I'm suffering. every day :) and yet I'm okay, until I die.
okay.
that's it for today.
A
Anon09/09/26, 08:24No.34905978
she will meet someone who makes her feel nervous and excited and horny and they will have a lot of sex