how to stop being a loser - /adv/

Anonymous09/07/26, 18:47No.34901122How to stop being a loser?

Since childhood I spent most of my time at home or alone. My parents were too busy to look after me and I couldn't make friends. Most children avoided me, even though I didn't do anything wrong so I spent most of my childhood on the computer or drawing. This problem started to get worse as I started growing up. It was even harder for me to interact with people and socialize. And then some people not only started avoiding or ignoring me but also making fun of me. I recently moved to another city to go to college and this only depresses me more. I try to be polite and maintain a dialogue but it almost always looks like they don't see me as a person like them. Is my appearance the problem? I never had teenage love because all the guys and girls I liked pretended not to notice my attraction. I only dated a guy once but not really. I liked him but as he told me he agreed to date me because he wanted attention. We broke up quickly anyway. One of the reasons for our breakup was that I'm taller than him and he said "You look more masculine than me, even though you're a girl. It looks ridiculous." How can I become normal and stop being a loser? Or should I just accept it? Sorry if my english is bad it's not my native language.

Replies

Anon09/07/26, 19:09No.34901195

self acceptance sounds like what youre looking for instead of changing yourself into something you arent. someone that has accepted their flaws come across as much less of a loser in other words. it sounds like you really want friends or a relationship. What efforts have you put into finding others recently?

Anon09/07/26, 19:11No.34901201

see the thing is you're focusing on interacting with people for its own sake i also spent a lot of time at home and alone and that gave me fuck-all for hobbies the thing i've found is that hobbies in common you don't even need social skills to succeed so get your ass to a club you're literally in college

Anon09/07/26, 19:31No.34901285

Very hard anon. The road will be long, so having a good day without thinking hard of yourself is enough to consider as a big win.There's multiple layers to the problem. If your family is narcissistic or manipulative, you have to make a physical space and time for yourself, it's very important to look at your own goals without caring they may seem selfish, rather than making happy people you love but are too busy to love back.Socially speaking, people are all about hierarchies by nature, and putting others down is as much of a role as helping people. Try not to feel sorry for too many people, or offended yourself even if you would agree with the shittalk. It's just shittalk and not serious well thought remarks, and saying it's not serious doesn't mean it's unimportant. You must learn to shittalk as well, in ways that you consider fun, it shouldn't matter if you're harsh. Try not to think of fixing the world even if that sounds important, fix only things that are personally important to you.As for being a loser, you should aim for holding a comfortable job, earning money for hobbies and spending time with people. Join clubs in college you think are fun, commit to a challenge that brings passionate people together. Don't aim for the best in class, the most prestigious job or any of that bullshit.Finally being a girl is a huge advantage, and starting to fix yourself in a young age makes things easier in the long run. For girls, a hairstyle and fashion can bring out the diamond inside you. For example, fat girls with a wide face can look good if they frame their face with their hair, tall girls look good with an athletic body, thick thighs and a normal amount of bodyfat. Everyone is nuts about goth and alt fashion, and a masculine face goes great with bangs and heavy makeup.Try different stereotypic looks and play the part, suit with whatever feels most fun. Life is all about fun, don't overthink things.>t. 31 yo male virgin NEET loser.

Anon09/08/26, 10:15No.34903053

doesn't matter. all women are losers. don't worry about it.

Anon09/08/26, 10:32No.34903067

>How to stop being a loser? You don't. Cope or rope. Those are your options.

Anon09/08/26, 11:52No.34903164

Drop discord so I can make you feel good. Where you from?

Anon09/09/26, 01:04No.34905188

Social skills are a fitness. Being alone all the time will make you awkward around almost anybody, let alone strangers. Join a club / meetup. Something low pressure where you're likely to have common interests with people. Go regularly. You'll start making friends at best, or at worst, be accepted as a regular in the group. As or more importantly, it'll be additional regular socialization in your routine, which will start to make you less awkward with strangers. Don't worry about being Chad, or a sex symbol, or super cool, just get comfortable being yourself socially. People generally accept each other as they are, so long as they're not an asshole and don't feel fake. Gradually you'll make more friends, start having more confidence generally.