are my standards too high - /adv/

Anonymous09/07/26, 16:46No.34900748are my standards too high?

never had any romantic contact with a boy. because i want the right one and i dont want to settle for someone who doesnt reach them and i wont be even half as attracted to. now my standards arent "rich chad" as you might expect but they are linear: >some kind of people hating autist loser >nerd with similar interests and taboo kinks >not super chuddy but not too soft >same age and amount of mentality stunted and childishness as me >flexible appearance but preferably has dark short hair and light eyes and is not that muscular >khhv (vastly preferred but i can settle) essentially i just want my male counterpart. but does that person even exist? i feel like a lot of my behaviour and interests are typically more feminine which complicates things. i dont think im asking for someone out of my league just someone very specific. perhaps my mind has been warped by years of being attracted to fictional characters and their traits. i tried hinge and /soc/ a few times but no dice, no men appealed to me or seemed to be on the same wavelength (for hinge i dont live in a city though). if i cant find this man im just going to give up because i wont be happy settling.

Replies

Anon09/07/26, 18:39No.34901089

>but does that person even exist? No, you are looking for a unicorn. They realistically do not exist and you'll likely need to bend or break quite a few of the things on your list. >nerd with similar interests and taboo kinks You will decimate the vast majority of the male population with this request. The amount of men that have both those things are likely small. >mentality stunted and childishness as me You don't want a relationship with someone like that. There can't be two children in a relationship. The only outcome is both of you getting hurt and jaded.I could go over the others but I think the point stands. Your standards aren't too high. They are the wrong standards to begin with.>no men appealed to me or seemed to be on the same wavelength If you want better advice I'd tell you to elaborate on this. This is likely where the most change can occur to finding a man.>i cant find this man im just going to give up because i wont be happy settling. Oh nevermind, have fun being the 40 year old wine drinking cat aunt. I'll see you at Thanksgiving this year.

Anon09/07/26, 18:45No.34901116

to be honest, same.I've just settled for being alone.

Anon09/07/26, 18:56No.34901151

I used to want an edgy, tortured soul art girl who shared my nerdy interests, didn't mind my literal cowboy upbringing, would smoke up with me and could keep up with me in work and play; very much looking for a female counterpart of myself.Then I fell in love with a preppy uni girl from an immigrant family; we had nothing in common but the chemistry was unreal. We could talk about nothing for hours and have the time of our lives, introduced one another into our respective hobbies regardless of if that stuck for our partner or not, and really complimented eachother in social situations/decision making because of our differences. Marrying her was one of the easiest things I've ever done.Tldr, don't be afraid to look outside of your typical box. You might be surprised at who really ends up ticking all your boxes.

Anon09/07/26, 19:05No.34901186

the problem with what youre looking for is most these people dont go outside or try to meet other people theyre a dime a dozen on discord servers and here. i think youd be digging at the bottom of the barrel not for finding a chud but people incapable of managing relationships. what have you currently done so far? problem with your strategy of pickiness is you dont really know someone until youve lived with them to see their real behaviors come out.

Anon09/07/26, 19:37No.34901307

tldr. If you think your standards are high, you're feeling insecure in some other area, thinking you should date as little as possible to not hurt people/catch diseases/collect bad experiences/be accepted by someone strict etc.I don't know how to eliminate insecurities however. Good luck.

Anon09/07/26, 19:44No.34901318

Fairly close, I guess, but no "taboo kinks", and from what I've seen on here, women tend to be into way more fucked up shit than the men. The worst we get from men outside of /b/ are footfags.

Anon09/07/26, 19:59No.34901365

Ok, what's your age, how insane are you and in what way are you insane

Anon09/07/26, 23:11No.34901972

Even after reading your post multiple times i don't really understand all of it. May you explain your case a little more? I think you look down to your own standards and have a pessimistic approach to them, some ideas appear to contradict each other and some are just vague like "no beforehand experience due to secluded upbringing".

Anon09/08/26, 00:25No.34902142

>nerd with similar interests and taboo kinks What kind of kinks, anon

Anon09/08/26, 00:26No.34902146

I wanted one of my 3 anime husbandos. The first one was a complete coward that chickened out of asking me out and then prompty got babytrapped, lol. Now a second one (my real fav og husband ngl) has finally appeared in my life. We're trapped in a really fucked up slowburn that's driving me crazy because basically I don't get to know whether I'll see him any given month, but I'm determined to see it through and wait for him.Tldr fuck the odds and naysayers, you can find what you want if you believe in yourself

Anon09/08/26, 01:24No.34902263

Look, you always 'settle.' Perfect is the mortal enemy of Good. Happy couples find The Package Deal. A matrix of positives, neutrals and negatives. I hope you will believe me when I say that you will love someone for the neutrals and many of the negatives, because that is who we are.So far as I'm aware, there's only been one perfect guy, ever, and the jews killed him like 2000 years back. You won't find someone perfect for you, not without getting to know them, and the worst part of that is that what you really want in a spouse changes as you grow, and a good spouse supports you as you grow. Right now you are blind, superficial AND stupid. Being with a person worthy of your love will change you a lot. Saying no to the imperfect now will never allow you the opportunity to become perfect for each other. Good Enough For A Start is more than good enough.FWIW, I've got a STEM doctorate, and two patents for surgical equipment. I'm big, quiet and ugly. My wife, OTOH owns a hair salon and is social. She was a St. Pauli girl (look it up) model and quietly brilliant, but has a GED. We're the happiest married couple I know of, and still act like two idiot teenagers. together... and had either of us been perfectionists, we'd never have met.

Anon09/08/26, 01:29No.34902278

It’s definitely possible you just have to be looking through enough threads to be able to find him. I managed to find my now fiance through an ideal partner thread and we were both each others first relationships and lost our virginity to each other. Happened to only live 15ish minutes away from each other too which made it that much better. He was 19 and I was 21 when we met for age reference too. All in all though it just takes time. I spent around 3ish years lurking and posting before I found his post and added him. Probably talked to a few hundred random people between starting the search and eventually adding him but it happened and its been 5 fantastic years so far and I cant wait to spend the rest of my life with him. Just dont settle cause the guy for you is out there you just have to find him.

Anon09/08/26, 01:57No.34902353

My minimum is 26 to 35. Works in sales, private equity, or commercial real estate. His family has more than one house. He drives a sports car. Minimum 6'2" (sorry, but if you’re under six feet, what are we doing here? I want to wear 4-inch stilettos without making you insecure). He plays golf on Saturdays, wears crisp joggers or linen button-downs with the sleeves casually rolled up, and no baldness. He has to be emotionally grounded, because let’s be real I am providing enough emotional turbulence for the both of us. He needs to know my exact Starbucks order by heart, spontaneously book vacations, and genuinely think I am the smartest, prettiest thing on the planet, and he must ALWAYS pay.

Anon09/08/26, 02:06No.34902363

Ladies, never settle for less.

Anon09/08/26, 02:08No.34902370

Yeah well I want a pony.

Anon09/08/26, 02:29No.34902410

This is pretty reasonable at a STEM-focused university: a lot of young guys there will fit this mold. And the bonus is that they'll be working on degrees that pay good money. So I think you can find what you're looking for, OP. And kudos on the unusual taste in men.

Anon09/08/26, 03:52No.34902574

no offense sis but the type of guy you're describing will 100% give you the ick in person. i promise you. it's not like the fanfics

Anon09/08/26, 08:33No.34902904

Too retarded to mate

Anon09/09/26, 18:13No.34907006

I am most of the way there for this so I think it's mostly reasonable. >some kind of people hating autist loser This is me. I am a diagnosed autistic and I went to special school at one point. I also hate living organisms and somewhat sympathise with the sandy hook killer Adam Lanza. >nerd with similar interests and taboo kinks I don't have any kinks but I am into some things which are seen as nerdy. Not really pop culture stuff though if that's what you meant >not super chuddy but not too soft I am super chuddy >same age and amount of mentality stunted and childishness as me Idk how old you are but I'm 21. I am extremely immature for my age I think but I don't see that as a bad thing. I think what people call maturity is somewhat just becoming more enthralled into the machine >flexible appearance but preferably has dark short hair and light eyes and is not that muscular I am 6'1 or 2, 80 something kilograms, visibly muscular but not immensely. Perhaps not twinkish enough for you idk. >khhv (vastly preferred but i can settle) This is me Anyway I am not writing all of this to try and date you or whatever but I just thought I should share because I think I may be quite close to your ideal man so yes he does exist