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Anonymous05/15/26, 08:00No.34534288Why the fuck is something as trivil as calling the bank so goddamn hard for me
Literally all I have to say (after the hour long que) is:
>hi my name is anon and I have some money I'd like to invest can you tell me how that works
But I can't even pick up the phone. Even the thought of calling someone makes me almost lose it. I'm not at the verge of tears, I'm actively crying about it. Fearing that I'll sound like a moron and make some wagie's day worse for it.
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Anon05/15/26, 08:06No.34534296
Vodka
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Anon05/15/26, 08:06No.34534298
If you had that kind of money the bank would be calling you first and giving you the direct line to a financial advisor at the closest branch.
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Anon05/15/26, 10:54No.34534547
just start up an investment account at whatever peopple use to invest in your cuntry with
select stonks or index funds at put it in
schrimple as
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Anon05/15/26, 15:29No.34534873
wagie's literally get paid to handle retards like you, dw abt it you'll do just fine
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Anon05/15/26, 15:30No.34534875
youre not a moron for giving a shit about where your money goes
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Anon05/15/26, 15:35No.34534888
Sounds like a really bad anxiety disorder. I'd talk to your doctor about options if you have one.
Practice calling someone you know. Im sure your mom or dad would be happy to spend a few minutes with you. Maybe they can give you advice, too.
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Anon05/15/26, 15:39No.34534893
>>hi my name is anon and I have some money I'd like to invest can you tell me how that works
Lol why would you do that? Read Boglehead's Guide.
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Anon05/15/26, 16:27No.34535001
I find that often when doing something gives me anxiety it's genuinely because I shouldn't even do it.
Cold-Calling the bank for investment advice is naive. The people who answer the phones are wagie NPCs. If they knew about investing they wouldn't even have that job answering phones.
Instead, read articles about it, talk to LLMs, of course taking into account they hallucinate sometimes, look on online discussions, like F.I.RE. communities.
In the end the best thing will probably be you make some online account with a different bank. If you call your bank they are just going to limit you to whatever possibly subpar investment programs they have. The wagie will connect you with some inept salesperson who will push fluff and B.S. on you.