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Anonymous05/11/26, 20:33No.34522913Wanted to wait until marriage, but she is not a virgin
I grew up in a family where wait until marriage is practiced, and I fully intended to wait until marriage, with the idea that I would be waiting for a virgin. I am dating my coworker, who is not a virgin, and she is okay with waiting until marriage, but I feel like there is no point in waiting for a non-virgin. Culturally, you would wait out of respect for the girl, to show her that you actually love her and don't just value sex from her, but for a non-virgin, it just seems kind of pathetic. You're waiting for what someone else got without any commitment, offering far more for the same experience.
Am I wrong to view it this way? And do I break against my upbringing and just have sex with her now? I would feel kind of guilty to, but I would feel kind of beta not to.
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Anon05/11/26, 21:19No.34522987
fellow virgin here. i don't think you're wrong.
I don't really care about no sex before marriage, but i do about no sex unless marriage is a given (i know thats extremely naive, but expecting anything than the lowest common denominator is naive in this day and age). that said, from everything i've read and witnessed, it's up to men to take risks and be pushy (without being rapey. where the line is seems to vary attracted she is to you), otherwise most women just get bored of you (though there's a small subset who are better than this).
I agree with what you say regarding the wait for marriage is to prove to the woman that the man loves her and wants everything, not just getting into her pants. And if the woman had sex without asking for marriage with a past partner, then yeah the offer of proof is pointless.
i realize this site and internet are pretty severe in how they view women, and i don't agree with a lot, but i feel you're justified in this. Keep in mind that men in the past also had to juggle proving themselves desirable candidates as husbands despite many things that make one desirable went against their society's ideals.
if you are christian (i am not but enjoy learning about the history and recognize its importance in developing the parts of western societies that were/are beneficial to general wellbeing), remember that all corporeal sins can be forgiven so long as there's contrition on your part. if its out of fear that you need to move now otherwise get left in the dust, then you aren't a fuckboy, you're having to accommodate the times we live in. it's not a good thing, but we mere mortals are not born perfect nor expected to live perfect lives.
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Anon05/11/26, 22:03No.34523062
Waiting for virgin is about you, not about her. You wait because God wants sex to be a unifying act taking place within a holy and sacramental union. It is about your morality and your obedience to God's will and His desire that you use sex for His purposes, not for your own pleasure. So it really doesn't matter if she is a virgin or not, or if you're a virgin or not
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Anon05/11/26, 23:33No.34523278
You shouldn't wait till you're married because waiting till you're married is stupid. You don't want to wait until after you're married to someone to find out that you're not sexually compatible.>inb4 There's no such thing as sexual compatibility, you just have to be considerate
This is the kind of thing that sounds plausible when you've never had sex. When you have, you realise it's absurd.Having said all that, your reasons for not waiting are very, very wrong, and if you feel like that about her, and about sex, it's pointless to be in a relationship with her, or indeed with anyone else.
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Anon05/12/26, 01:03No.34523603
you should talk to her about it not some randoms on an image board. I mean she does get a say in this right?
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Anon05/12/26, 02:53No.34523925
virgins deserve virgins.
this is easy and simple to comprehend. any thing else is false and wrong and im not even a real christian (occult esoteric orthodox christian), im more like someone who has a brain and heart and uses it more than others and even i know that.
>wait out of respect for the girl, to show her that you actually love her
correct and i commend you very much for this, but while you have respect and love and morals for her, she has no respect and love for herself, even. (riding dicks b4 you)
>I am dating my coworker, who is not a virgin, and she is okay with waiting until marriage
so, pardon me my language, you are waiting for this whore while you are the pure one? for what reason? for all you know she is riding someone elses dick right now while you just wait, behind your back (this makes you the beta, really). one does only wait for virgins, no one else.you are here the dummy, getting exploited in this relationship, by this somewhore woman with more life experience than you.
in older times sex meant marriage and marriage meant sex, unilateral, fundamental, unequivocal. so if people had sex out of body heat, lets say, they had to (must) marry afterwards.
if you, oh so, the christian you are pretending to be you would know what happens with adulterers. (they get stoned) and shunned by society.i have broken many peoples hearts and i am sorry for them, but you know whats worse? breaking their hymen and then leaving for someone else. because hearts and emotions will heal, but the entrance to her womb will be forever tainted and her brainstructure changed, your both karma, entangled.
men are the more logical rational entities, they need to keep the female aspect in check.
you have all this knowledge OP and knowledge makes you responsible.
will you grow your soul and take that responsibility onto you and dodge the bullet or gamble and bite down and catch the bullet with your teeth and make it work with that adulatress?
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Anon05/12/26, 03:50No.34524136
>to show her that you actually love her and don't just value sex from her
This is something they just say on TV for teenagers to not get pregnant. Never believe this. Sex is part of love, The way it was supposed to work back then is "Marry her if you want sex". Now marriage is a burden so that's when that advice becomes dysfunctional.
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Anon05/12/26, 08:49No.34524664
If you wait longer than the guy who waited the least, she doesn't find you attractive enough and has a dichotomous view of sex.
Dip.
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Anon05/12/26, 12:55No.34524918
Remember Chad got more, easier, harder and dirtier, more times a day/week, with more enthusiasm, for a longer period of time, for less of his effort.
You will be getting what he got, for more effort, more work and less enthusiasm on her part.
Other anons were right ultimately, waiting until marriage is for you... your self respect that is. If you waited until marriage and you married someone who didn't wait until marriage, that will eat at you and your self respect for the rest of your life.
So either you just do sex now and forget about that shit (Remember Chad got it easier and it was better in every way), or you hold your standards and morals high and wait until marriage. Whether you marry her or not is your choice, but if you do, and you held your morals high, it will still eat at your standards for the rest of your life. Remember, Chad got everything you got, for free and it was more intense than you'll ever get from this girl.Now in my opinion, you should just break up. I was in the same space as you, literally the same experience. I had the guts to break up, and eventually I did find the virgin girl that I wanted and who also wanted to wait until marriage. And I sleep like a baby because of that, and also knowing I could have stayed single for the rest of my life. I held my standards and morals up and I could have lived with it knowing I did the right thing for myself.
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Anon05/12/26, 12:58No.34524921
How torn up and blown out is her pussy?
Did she fuck 1 dude or 10?
Seems like a very important detail.
Problem is that you told her virginity matters to you so the number she said is probably low and she only said that number because she knew you'd be disgusted by the truth.
Tbqh, go to church or something and find a virgin. Good luck, though. That's pretty rare these days because many fathers are weak and allow their little princesses become a town bicycle.
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Anon05/12/26, 13:03No.34524926
I threw my virginity out for this reason. I figured it would be unlikely to find a female virgin to get married to.
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Anon05/12/26, 13:42No.34524974
You're completely missing the point about chastity. It is not HER virginity that matters, but YOURS. The point of waiting is delivering something pure (you) to her as a token of respect and love, and of making YOUR first experience special
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Anon05/12/26, 13:47No.34524985
this tradcuck larping is getting very tiring
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Anon05/12/26, 13:49No.34524990
Are you some kind of brown, or muslim? Why are you trying to larp the 16th century, and why do you give a fuck about muh cultcha and what your fucking family thinks? Do you invite your mom into the bedroom to hold your dick when you penetrate?
Christ larping and loony reformation sects are not a "culture" btw. Neither is being a jeet.
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Anon05/12/26, 15:43No.34525296
I agree with this guy, OP, do not settle or change your ideals for an person who does not take your views seriously.Sincerely, a fellow volcel.
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Anon05/12/26, 19:54No.34525826
Depends on what you personally want rather than just your upbringing, I believe virgins should be with virgins if you're planning on waiting for marriage. You'll have to decide whether you hold this as an important moral standard or not, because if you do you'll just develop resentment for this woman if you stay with her.
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Anon05/12/26, 23:16No.34526320
OP here. Didn't expect so many replies to my post, so sorry that I cannot respond to everyone. I read through the entire thread, and I appreciate all the responses I've received. I do want to clarify: I am not some trad larper --- I grew up in a genuinely traditional household where wait until marriage is strictly abided by --- my 6 siblings can attest to this. I am in somewhat of a dating predicament where I do have a more conservative mentality when it comes to dating and relationships but do not like the the idea of "stay-at-home wife," which is the route that many of the women who grew up in the same community as me seem to want to go. They are really just lazy --- not wanting to have children the way the grandparent generation did but still wanting the benefits of a traditional man --- someone who waits until marriage for them, provides fully for them, etc. A lot of them are also somewhat unattractive --- they don't put effort into their looks, not out of respect for tradition, but just because they are lazy and think God will send them a man regardless. This is why I am very reluctant to date within the community I grew up in. On the flipside, I do not like the idea of the woman I marry having had sex with other guys before me, and I can definitely see it turning into resentment after the honeymoon phase ends or after getting into arguments. So I feel kind of stuck because outside of the trad environment I grew up in, there are probably very few virgins, but I just prefer women who work, someone who can help me build my business, someone ambitious --- you don't find that in a traditional environment. So it's as if I lose regardless of which route I go in
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Anon05/12/26, 23:23No.34526335
why do i have the feeling you are just an incel whos coping and deluding himself telling himself hes only an incel bc *he le waited* when in fact you couldnt ever get laid if you tried it .... and 'waiting till marriag' for le virgin is a convenient cope painting yourself as a totally not ince loser which in reality you are but admitting that would hurt your tiny ego so again coping is nice
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Anon05/12/26, 23:29No.34526350
Virginity was valued in marriage so that you could guarantee the paternity of your first born child.
This is also why there was a "honeymoon". i.e. a month long vacation, which was over her entire cycle.
We have DNA tests for that now.
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Anon05/13/26, 00:33No.34526498
This is a larp thread, but no, there is nothing wrong with expecting consistency.
But if you're considering having sex outside of marriage just so you don't feel "beta", it sounds like you don't particularly care about these principles, either.
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Anon05/13/26, 10:55No.34527621
Did she tell you how she lost her virginity? I'd make an exception if she was raped or widowed after waiting for marriage with her dead husband too. Otherwise, don't be a hypocrite and break up with her, you should've done it sooner if you had such a big ideological difference.
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Anon05/13/26, 11:14No.34527639
Have sex with her at least a few times before marriage. You need to know if the parts fit each other mechanically. Usually they do, but you should be sure.
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Anon05/13/26, 18:45No.34528844
bump
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Anon05/14/26, 00:26No.34529655
>I am dating my coworker, who is not a virgin, and she is okay with waiting until marriage, but I feel like there is no point in waiting for a non-virgin>You're waiting for what someone else got without any commitment, offering far more for the same experience.This is the mental brain rot that happens when just adopt values from your upbringing without even bothering to ask yourself why. You don't even understand what the purpose of waiting until marriage is.
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Anon05/15/26, 04:45No.34533965
>I would kind of feel guilty [if I had sex with her]
OP, it is imperative that you fuck this girl. Yes, 'imperative.' Why? It's quite simple: you need to learn how pussy affects you. Pussy is the most dangerous drug on the planet. With heroin, booze, or crack, you need a taste before you get hooked... but pussy is a far more potent substance. You don't need to 'get a taste' to become an addict. In fact, the worst addicts are usually virgins like yourself. You desperately want to sleep with your girlfriend, yet your guilt makes it such that intimacy can only occur after forging a lifelong commitment. Very bad idea. Look, I'm not trying to be an asshole, but do you know how many men have spent months, sometimes years with a woman before they realized they were only ever in love with her pussy? A LOT.
