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Anonymous03/14/26, 16:16No.34339974Intermittent Reinforcement
I am in a pickle of a scenario. I got involved with a taken woman who basically showed a ton of interest, flirted with me, sexted me but never had a full on physical affair with me. After a couple of errors on my part, i lost her interest. I complained too much about my life. I was too vulnerable with her. I expected consistency in our little games. I went from being the pursued to the pursuer. For months now she’s been essentially hitting me with intermittent reinforcement. Some days she flirts with me and the energy is back up and we’re friendly and having a great time with one another. But on a lot, if not most, other days she treats me as secondary. She’s always leaving me on read, she never reaches out first, she acts it that weird, flirting, emotional affair stage never existed. She treats me as a friend on those days, but I used that term loosely she doesn’t engage in conversation like she used to. The problem is that when I’m not busy, my mind is consumed with her. I think about mistakes I’ve made. I think about how she sees me. I ruminate on thoughts of her choosing someone else to have an affair with, someone who treats her like a fling (like i did before) and she’s completely fine with. Now, let me make three things clear. 1. I know I’m a piece of shit for getting involved with someone who’s taken. 2. I’ve already stopped reaching out to her starting conversation with her, etc. I just don’t wanna feel shitty anymore. It feels like I’m going through a break up and I never even got to fuck the bitch. 3.I’m not in love with her, I wanted to fuck her and I’m interpreting this situation as rejection and as a loss. But I know that I started losing the second this became a game to win and lose. It’s hard to ignore her because we work closely together in our office. What would you do If you were me? Not trying to get her back. I just don’t want my thoughts to be consumed with this significant mistake that I’ve made.
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