f20, met this boy when I was 11 in school and from then on did absolutely everything possible to get him. He didn’t really have friends, so it was easy getting in with his one close friend and working my way in from there. found his address, used to walk past his house whenever possible or get his bus. Found his socials, gaming accounts like his steam and Xbox, played all the games he had played so I could gently drop in references and act like I didn’t know he also liked them. Listened to all the music he liked, watched every show he liked. When I wasn’t periodically following him home from class I’d be trying to find out what kind of girls he liked based on his followings online so I could make myself into that. when we did become friends I found my way in by acting like both a therapist and a best friend to him. This went on for 9 years and eventually i did get him and we live together. I don’t know if he knows that I am so fucking obsessed with him it’s painful. When he goes to sleep I spend the entire time watching him, smelling him, touching his teeth, his hair, his nails, everything. Someday I’m scared he will leave me when he finds out the extent of what I did to get him. I don’t know if I should ever tell him but I speculate he has to know at least a little bit, right? I’ve always felt disgusting about this. What the fuck is wrong with me