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Anonymous12/02/25, 03:28No.34002522there's something wrong with me and nothing is working
I don't know if it's adhd or ocd or trauma or some unholy mashup of them and more, but whatever it is, it's ruind my life.
A few years ago I finished the first draft of my second novel. It was poorly planned and ended up taking three years because the plot and cast changed multiple times as I was writing it. I told myself I would fix everything in the second draft, but when I got to the end I realized I'd need another three years to fix everything and my brain just broke
now I can't write, I can't draw, I can't do game design, or any of the other hobbies I have. I've become compulsively perfectionistic, to the point that 90% of the time I spend on my hobbies is spent agonizing over the easiest and most elegant way to do something, and being overwhelmed by how much work I have to do to make things turn out how I want. I can't get anything done like this
I have no control over my brain and neither therapists or medications have helped. Jesus is right out, if that cunt exists then he's responsible for all this, and I'd rather put him back on the fucking cross than turn to him for help. I've tried exercising, fixing my diet, eating right, taking breaks. None of it has worked
I don't know why I'm even posting this. I know any advice I get is just going to be you telling me to kill myself or copying and pasting from chatgpt. I just know that I'm desperate for a cure, and right now the only one I can think of is a bullet.
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Anon12/02/25, 05:57No.34003208
Just change one page per day. I know sometimes projects seem insurmountable but if you see the crap they put on TV and in bookstores, even half-assing your novel will be like gold next time.I've been working on a pilot for years and had to rethink and rework the script multiple times. As shitty as it is to see the mountain of work ahead, I know that denying my impulse to create makes me feel aimless and depressed. You can do it! It's just words. You think Twilight is some masterpiece of fiction? You can beat that.
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Anon12/02/25, 06:00No.34003222
>I spend on my hobbies is spent agonizing over the easiest and most elegant way to do something
This is mostly not a negative trait to have and you're actually one of the few gifted.
It means you CARE, which differs a lot of from the dead-brained fuckers on this shithole of a planet we were bunched up in.
I think you should just try to Hulk it up, harness it and don't let it run you. Cliche, but some kind of meditation maybe or a paradigm shift could help.
All the best, anon.
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Anon12/02/25, 06:18No.34003318
yeah, this is a good tip
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Anon12/03/25, 02:21No.34006417
Your self talk is negative. Can’t do this and can’t do that. Lying is wrong, especially to yourself.
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Anon12/03/25, 02:32No.34006457
Nah I feel you. I'm permastuck on being moderately experienced in a million different things because I can never focus on something for longer than two months. The worst part is watching people you should absolutely be lapping on paper just do better than you because they could be more consistent. It's such a fucking curse.