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Anonymous06/23/25, 13:55No.33263492How to settle
Dudes I need some serious setting straight. I have a girl that's great and treats me like a king. I trust her, and I know she will be a fantastic wife and mother. I've never been more certain of an easy life with a loving wife.
But I'm just kinda, meh about it. She isn't particularly interesting or exciting or attractive to me..not bad just like, average. I enjoy being around her, but I'm not gonna lie I don't think I'm in love, if I even know what that is and I find myself constantly wanting more and thinking I can get a better woman. I am not trying to break up with her because I know the jackpot I've hit,, and I know I'm being retarded. but how do I learn to just be happy with it and not want more? How do I just feel happy and appreciate it?
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Anon06/23/25, 13:59No.33263500
you'll get bored of fucking the same girl no matter how hot she is. if she's hot that just means you'll get bored later
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Anon06/23/25, 14:01No.33263511
How do you know this won't happen again with the next lady? Maybe you're greedy and taking what you have for granted. Tread carefully but if you keep feeling this way ending it is better sooner rather than later.
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Anon06/23/25, 16:48No.33264167
>But I'm just kinda, meh about it.
So? Are you assuming that storybook super-passionate love is something that ever happens in real life? Fiction exaggerates everything in life and you shouldn't confuse lust or infatuation with actual love.
> I'm not gonna lie I don't think I'm in love
What is "love in your mind? Is it earnestly wanting to spend time with someone, enjoying making them happier, and looking forward to planning a future with them? That is love. You have already expressed gratitude for being in a relationship with this person and express a sense or honor and luck for having been chosen by her. Is that not "love" to you?
As someone who has been married for 15 years, what you think "love" is seems highly distorted and fanciful to me.
>I just feel like I'm cutting myself short of a true soulmate
There's no such thing. There are no moments of "stars aligning", nor serendipity, nor astrological fates synchronizing. Relationships are what you make of them together.
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Anon06/23/25, 16:57No.33264186
as someone who's been with girls with whom everyday was a rollercoaster and girls with whom things settled into a lull pretty fast I can tell you the ones that offer you consistency and comfort are better in the long run, doesn't matter if that consistency is a bit boring.
Of course if she's so boring to you that you actively try not to be with her then it's a major problem
with the girl that things were more relaxed I was eager to be with her because the rest of the day and the rest of stuff was stressing and uncertain, she was a safe, relaxed space where I knew how things would go.
if the rest of your day is also kinda boring I'm not surprised a dull relationship is a burden but then again maybe make the rest of your day more exciting so chill time with her is not so bad.
just a suggestion.
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Anon06/23/25, 17:09No.33264223
judging by the pic you posted, can i assume you consume cartoon demon porn? maybe thats misaligning your standards of an average uninteresting woman?
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Anon06/23/25, 17:12No.33264232
>She isn't particularly interesting or exciting or attractive to me
Then in what sense will she be a fantastic wife?
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Anon06/23/25, 22:23No.33265120
You're not alone in feeling this. A lot of men wrestle with the tension between stability and desire. What you're experiencing is the quiet disillusionment that comes when reality doesn’t match the fantasy we've built up (especially in a world that constantly bombards you with highlight reels, idealized women, and the myth of “the one”). You’re lucky enough to have someone loyal, loving, and reliable. But your brain, shaped by novelty and comparison, is whispering that it’s not enough. That’s not love’s failure. That’s dopamine addiction and a culture of disposability.You need to understand that long-term happiness is about values and character alignment, not constant excitement. The “spark” fades in every relationship. Lust and infatuation are meant to die. It’s nature’s bait. What remains is chosen love: showing up every day, investing in someone who shows up for you. You don’t have to “feel” in love 24/7. No one does. What matters is how you act, who she is, and whether you want to build a life with her. By the way, what are you doing to make her interesting to you? Boredom often says more about you than her. Shared projects, vulnerability, challenges, even play: all of this creates deeper bonds. You’re not a passive observer of your own life; you’re a participant. If you want magic, help create it. It's also worth examining your pride. You say she’s great, but not hot or exciting enough. Ask yourself: are you aiming for admiration from others, or actual peace? Do you want a wife, or a trophy? Ego will ruin a good thing if you let it.Gratitude isn’t a feeling, it’s a practice. Remind yourself daily: she loves you, she’s loyal, and she’s enough. That doesn’t mean settling. It means maturing. You’re not “retarded” for feeling this way, but you will be if you throw it all away chasing a ghost. Be the man your good fortune deserves.
