Anon05/15/26, 03:46No.42395273
When I was a young child, I stood up in the middle of a sermon and yelled out that the priest was a liar and deceiver, pointing af him. This was not well received, and I was whipped. Later, I was caught drawing naked people mostly anatomically correct. I was quite young, and this freaked out the parish. We ended up switching parishes a few times to avoid community punishment of me and my brother (eaely onset bipolar) who kept speaking of seeing and hearing demons. I would later move on to talk about how the Bible is filled with shepard and sheep metaphors because the sheep were to be consumed by the shepard's community.Eventually, I became a Bible camp counselor.The children there loved me. But I could feel the distain that YHWH had for me. What I am. What came naturally to me. Eventually, I left. Friends introduced me to Wicca. But it felt empty, it didn't match the reality I felt deep within myself.Then, during a breakdown surrounding me learning I could never have a child of my own, she appeared to me. She encouraged me to start a family of my own, and when I cried out that I couldn't, she told me I was simply making excuses. This happened a few times. Eventually I asked her name, and she gave it. I looked her up, and there she was. Not in a Grimoire, nor in books about the occult, but in an historical anthropology book. An ancient indo-european demon of death of mothers during labor winter, and orphans thought to be the origin of a few demons and some Indian goddesses.This spilled out into the writings of John Dee, the Golden Dawn, etc. I foolishly seeked unity, oneness, keter. Your adherents, Jesus, all say, "whoever comes to me, I will not cast out." But this is a lie. Some are not welcome at all. You can it cross the Abyss if the way is not opened to you. That's the lie. And the joke is, on the other side, for someone like me, you only yourself.As above so below; and if the churches are any indication, I am not welcome.
