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Anonymous03/19/25, 20:55No.8098749Post a wallpaper and say what's on your mind
Thread #11.
All are welcome here.
Previous: >>8071327
(Using an anon's excellent shot as the OP image - thanks, anon!)
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Replies
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Anon03/21/25, 12:00No.8098836
(spacing for semi-readability)
I have commitment issues in regards to dating (not in a cheating way, I'm just a pansy), and my most recent girlfriend was either 2022 or 2023 (she was too unimportant to care to remember), prior to that it would've been 2016, because I just haven't cared enough to date.
The main thing, too, is that I stick to the mindset of questioning what she might be able to offer me & what I might be able to offer her that we can't get by some other means.I bring that up because, on a whim, I recently started dating a guy that I'm decently close with (online, admittedly), and I know the following is going to sound retarded to anybody with any level of social adjustment, but it doesn't feel out of the ordinary considering I've never been with a guy?
It feels confusing, yet feels normal (confusing in the sense that I've never been with a guy in my life (I've even turned down a dude because I wasn't interested in men) the most contact I've had with a guy is hugging a bro or a firm handshake after a good days work)
Maybe I don't see it as anything out of the ordinary because it's entirely text/digital and there's that online separation?Someone please tell me I'm overthinking something basic and that I'm retarded.
Anyway, been going through Dragon Ball Daima, and it's kinda silly, but I'm enjoying it to an extent.
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Anon03/22/25, 00:33No.8098863
The older I get the stupider everyone seems.I'm not fulfilled with or without money.Relationships seem like a completely hopeless endeavor.My passions have all but withered away completely.I don't know where to go with my life.
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Anon03/22/25, 01:00No.8098867
in uni and just feel like i'm wasting my time and money.i mean, it's not like i hate it. some of my professors are rather enjoyable, but a lot of my courses are just too slow, too easy. i feel like i'm barely learning anything.life's basically just a repeat cycle of wake up, go to class or work, then come home and waste time, because the homework is absurdly easy.all in all, i'm probably just a fucking retard, but i can't help but question my choices thus far.
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Anon03/22/25, 04:01No.8098875
everything is going to be alright
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Anon03/22/25, 20:57No.8098947
i like this one
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Anon03/22/25, 20:58No.8098948
And this
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Anon03/22/25, 21:00No.8098949
1920x1080
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Anon03/22/25, 21:02No.8098950
a little bit Rothko-esque
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Anon03/22/25, 21:03No.8098951
Ships at sea
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Anon03/22/25, 21:05No.8098952
Jazz Singer
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Anon03/22/25, 21:06No.8098953
A bit Dark this one
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Anon03/22/25, 22:26No.8098955
I don't think I'll ever be happy.
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Anon03/23/25, 00:19No.8098958
I miss the 90s and my hometown
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Anon03/23/25, 17:30No.8099051
i've been in love with my closest friend for over 5 years, and obviously, the feelings dont go both ways
i used to be able to hold it down and keep the friendship going, but recently i've gotten worse and worse, and became an unbelievably hateful person because of it and all the other shit in my life
its gotten to the point where we barely talk anymore, and i think he's become so tired of my antics that he's given up on me
obviously, the smart decision would be to leave the friendship, move on, and try and get better but outside of me being in love with him he is fundamentally such a good person that i dont want to let go of him
i just dont know how to go onwards from here, i guess
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Anon03/23/25, 19:26No.8099085
no sound
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Anon03/24/25, 08:05No.8099171
I struggle with my work.
I'm a writer, I work almost exclusively alone and I thought 2024 would be the year I find more and more contracts to stabilize but I've been grieving a friend who was murdered late 2023 and now I'm extremely poor and can't imagine myself taking a shitty job just to earn a little money.
I feel like a fucking child whining, maybe I should just "man up" and go take a job at the factory but it's like I physically can't, I already have so much to do...
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Anon03/24/25, 12:15No.8099180
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Anon03/24/25, 14:09No.8099193
I'll convert to Christianity, and apply for police academy (previously an agnostic web developer).
I don't know what prompted me to make these decisions, but for the first time ever I feel a calling.
My former lifestyle was a ugly mess, I'm done taking the easy path.
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Anon03/25/25, 07:39No.8099250
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Anon03/30/25, 03:44No.8099693
Part of me doesn't regret my line of work for the last 5ish years. However, I haven't accomplished much in my eyes and I feel like I wasted them.I know that isn't totally true but I am no longer happy working a job that to a certain extent I am no longer happy doing and that I'm overqualified/disinterested to improve.I started working in film as a knee jerk reaction from losing my only long term girlfriend of three years. I figured that if I made something of myself then it would've been worth losing her.I notice that I will never make anything worthwhile/ I can ever quantify a film as great as I felt in that relationship.Just thinking about a good exit strategy.
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Anon03/31/25, 18:03No.8099912
I'm working on getting my ADHD diagnosis, I've been selected for evaluation in my country, pretty certain I'll get it; I have a small messaging book between my teacher and parents from 3rd or 4th grade, and it clearly paints the picture of a child struggling with ADHD.
The thing is, I've wasted so much damn time, I feel like I've lost my 20's, and I'm turning 30 this year. I'm just missing so much, like saved up money (even though I worked throughout my 20's), social skills, social milestones, education, friendships, etc. I've done a lot to improve my situation, and I've staked a lot on a goal this summer of moving away, taking 1 year to just try out uni.
But, I genuinely don't know if there is a "livable" future for me. There's just so much pain and shit behind me, so much work in front of me, and there's aging... I'm not prepared to get gray hair, loose my hair, I still feel like a fucking 20 year old.
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Anon03/31/25, 19:55No.8099918
I am being completely crushed by my loneliness and isolation to the point I can't take it anymore.Despite my best attempts In the last 7 years I wasn't able to make friends neither irl or on the internet, even when I was around like minded people or people with the same interest as me, and it pains me immensely, the shame of not being able to do something other people, even people who have it worse or have much worse problems than me do as naturally as breathing.
And yeah, I would also really love to get a girlfriend, but it feels ridiculous to even think about that in the same way it feels ridiculous thinking about running when I can't even stand on my legs and walk.The thing is that there are more important things I should worry about right now, mainly like the fact that I am 26 years old neet high school drop out with no skills, no goals, and only a shitty part time job that hardly pays anything, but I can't focus, I think about it all day, when I am working, doing chores, or eating or whatever and I keep having panic attacks over it. I can't even sit down to play a game or watch movie or browse the internet in peace anymore. It just feels so pointless doing any of that when I can't share the experience or discuss it with anyone. I used to stay up late until over 4 am, but the last 3 months I had to start forcing myself to go to sleep no later than midnight because the suicidal thoughts have gotten really bad during the night. I feels like no matter what I do it doesn't change anything and I can't move from the starting line.
I fear that due to my life long isolation and complete lack of social skills and accomplishments I am now permanently stunted and locked out of companionship, I feel like I ended up at the bottom of a hole I will never be able to get out of and the walls are slowly but steadily closing in.I just don't know what to do anymore and death is the only thing that brings me any peace of mind.
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Anon04/02/25, 16:20No.8100027
Life has been good these past few years. I'm about to graduate, and I think my friends would say my presence is appreciated.
Also, I might ask a cute lady at my gym out. Keep u posted
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Anon04/03/25, 01:45No.8100066
In the past year I've literally watched two family members die of cancer (One was 78 the other is 51). And honestly it got me thinking how short life can be, I cant help but think how much of my life i've wasted away doing fuck all.I dont go outside, i eat like shit, i have no job, no friends, I still live with my parents at 28 (How fucking embarrassing is that?), all I do is sit on my computer. I've almost entirely lost interest in playing games also. Its like I'm at a new low point in life where I'm so deep in a hole I cant get out of it.I'm at a loss of what to do anymore and I feel like im at my wits end when it comes to continuing. I've lost motivation in almost everything at this point. Maybe its because I am afraid of change? Maybe its because even with efforts I wont make it in life? I just want to wake up one day and not feel fucking miserable. I just want to be happy one day with someone else who care me. But I am just withering away it seems slowly, and after seeing people around me die from something horrible like cancer, I always feel like that is my future and its closer then I think.How ironic, being afraid of death but not wanting to live in the first place.I'm rambling too much...
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Anon04/04/25, 05:45No.8100151
I have been thinking about friends drifting apart.
One of my friends has started seeing a girl and has started ignoring all the messages and calls our friend group has made.
Thing is, we have tried to gently let him know from the beginning that he can do better. The girl doesn't seem to have any life other than basically spying on him through his social media profiles (He already gave her his passwords; I really don't understand this one, relationships are built on trust, does she not trust him enough to not ask for his private social media profiles?).
One example of her and when we actually found out she had access to his accounts was when I was jokingly replying to one of his instagram posts and calling him hot basically.
She messaged me from his account and told me to delete it and we knew he of all people wouldn't care about the message. Why should she get a say in what her boyfriend's friend-group does?
After that, our entire friend-group started to dislike her and as I mentioned previously started talking less with us and now doesn't even pick up our discord group call.
Our best guess as to why started dating her is probably because of his low self-esteem. She gave him attention after his break-up. Helped him get over the ex.
Regardless, it doesn't seem like there's anything we can do to help. He has to be the one to step up and make the right decision for himself.
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Anon04/06/25, 09:59No.8100370
I've struggled with the idea of success for a long time. I have a lot of close and great friends, and have either directly or indirectly enriched the lives of dozens of people around me.But no matter how often I hear about these things and are reminded of my influence, I can't ever really soak it in. I think part of it is mostly trying to keep my ego in check, but it's also because none of these details have brought me money. I feel like a loser because I never have money, and any attempt I've made to better my life that way has simply never worked out. I just don't know what to do, I don't want to give just to get in return, but I need something to push me forward in life.
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Anon04/06/25, 10:23No.8100371
I'm considering ending it all.
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Anon04/06/25, 13:50No.8100380
maladaptive daydreaming about suicide
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Anon04/06/25, 16:16No.8100390
hello anons. i've been struggling recently to know what i really want out of life. the usual mid-20s thing i guess.i'm currently studying law. i'm doing pretty well academically, have a competitive portfolio and by all metrics stand a pretty good chance of finding well-paid employment. i have quite a few friends and i'm enjoying my current hobbies. so by all metrics i feel like i would be happy. like plenty of people would want my life and would think i would be happy.i've tried gratitude and it helps. i really do appreciate everything that goes well in my life. but i somehow feel like something's missing. like i don't know what this is all for like i don't know if i'm doing things because i want to do them or because it's expected of me. i like what i'm studying and i'm good at it but it still feels miserable at times. i suppose there's a lot of stress. i feel like people expect me to do well based on past performance and if i can't deliver on that, i'm lesser somehow. they don't say it to my face explicitly but i somehow still feel it. i don't know, maybe having everyone have no expectations would be worse?this summer i don't really have much of a break. i'm squeezing in as many internships as i can handle. i feel like the pressure of keeping up with everyone around me is constant. and i just wonder if this is what life is like now will it really get any better? is this really all going to be worth it?my grandfather got dementia a few years back and looking at his slow decline it's scaring me a little. he worked really hard until his 80s and after retirement he had nothing to do. that's how the dementia started. is that going to be me? and empty husk after retirement, devoid of purpose and meaning now that work has let me go?i don't know what i want. or if i know in my hear but i just lack the courage to pursue it.
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Anon04/07/25, 20:32No.8100551
testing
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Anon04/08/25, 04:25No.8100586
So many suicidal anons please just find one activity outside that you like doing and try it. We feel so disconnected from nature and the earth behind society that we feel trapped in our head and the despair it feeds us.
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Anon04/09/25, 08:15No.8100666
Spring is here again. I can't believe how fast life is moving these days. I know there is actual scientific reasons behind the connection between getting older and time moving faster, but it still shocks me regardless. I'd love to feel one of those endless summers again, like you do when you're a child. I've always been very active and energetic, but this last year or so I'm starting to feel like my body is too tired to keep up with my energy levels. I keep thinking I'm going to have the same energy to bounce back from anything that I did in my teens and early 20's and sadly, it's just not true. I've been taking afternoon naps in the last year or so and I've never needed to do that before. I hate the idea of getting older and slower, losing the ability to do whatever I want without needing to consider my body that much. It's inevitable, but in the same way that I thought school would never end when I was younger, I have always thought I would never slow down at all. Just another lesson to learn, I guess.
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Anon04/09/25, 09:17No.8100667
Working on becoming a 3d modeler learning and how to make fantasy landscapes and fantasy armor are the best thing about it. Some anons may be depressed but always remember that its not worth to overthink things specially if we as normal humans are targeted by many things in life think for your self and research what makes you happy and life goes on.
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Anon04/12/25, 07:02No.8100901
I need a rest. The job, which I love, demands quite a lot of mental resources. And days seem all so similar to each other. I want a summer to come sooner. I want adventures, nature and travel a bit. I want to meet new people and make the most out of the time before world becomes grim. I don't know, but I can't shake the feeling. Living next door to Russia in that regard helps very little. Oh, and my car has something like burned out valve and the cylinder head is coming off so, y'know, that shit'll cost heavens knows how much...
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Anon04/12/25, 21:34No.8100936
I don't know what I should get for dinner. I'm not hungry but it's almost 6 PM and I haven't eaten shit today.
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Anon04/13/25, 12:05No.8100979
navigating and trying to maintain this insane life thing. supporting the one close to me that I love, but yearning to reach for the new; just to do it all again. at least its cast iron.
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Anon04/13/25, 15:15No.8100988
I wanted to write about how I wish I was dead and shit but I can't be bothered. I'm just going to draw Sonic characters and watch Sonic X. Still wish I would die in my sleep though.
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Anon04/26/25, 08:36No.8101309
I feel lonely and like I'll never get out of my rut. I should probably stop self medicating.
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Anon04/27/25, 04:34No.8101478
I feel lost since I got off deployment, most of my friends from my unit have left and it feels so lonely. Worst thing is my best friend is leaving soon, I am in love with her, and will never tell her because its an impossible situation. Drives me constantly mad. XZ
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Anon05/01/25, 18:35No.8101840
Glad we're back, pals.
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Anon05/01/25, 23:28No.8101853
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Anon05/02/25, 02:54No.8101868
At what point does a lie really hurt? It depends on the outcome-, but how can you know where the road leads before it is paved? A guess-, something that weighs risk and reward. But even if you get away with it, benefit from it, does the burden of carrying it in the first place take a toll greater than the value of success? I suppose time will tell.
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Anon05/02/25, 03:20No.8101872
I associate this wallpaper with freedom from lust. Medusa's Myth is of a woman who thought she was prettier than the gods themselves, so a virgin goddess cursed her. The only way to win against such monster is by never looking at it, otherwise it will make you hard as a rock. Literally. It's easy for me to associate being petrified with an erection. I do think there's some virtue in not succumbing to primal urges as I've seen too many getting their lives ruined because they chased some bad pussy.It has a weird resolution but it fits nicely as a WhatsApp wallpaper. I am almost sure I already posted this here, but I'm posting again some wallpapers I'm pretending to delete.
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Anon05/02/25, 03:23No.8101873
I think I found this one on Reddit. I know I always liked pirates as a kid, and the golden palette of this image is really appealing to my eyes. It's comfortable. I used it before the pandemic and now I associate it with more hopeful times. Not that today isn't hopeful. But I'm a bit older today and I feel that some doors have closed. The sea has no doors, though.
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Anon05/02/25, 03:29No.8101874
I have this stupid habit of associating Christian virtues with Greek myths. Prometheus' sin was to bring fire to humanity, which is to give independence to a race lesser than the gods. He's the martyr of men, punished by being tied to the highest mountain of Caucasus and having his liver eaten by a vulture. Every day, his liver regenerated and the vulture came back. Eventually, he was freed by Hercules, a demigod, whose father was a god but whose mother was a human.I associate this with patience. Sometimes there's nothing you can do except eat shit.I hate that the first thing I look at is that plump ass.
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Anon05/02/25, 03:34No.8101875
Pitch black wallpaper from when I was detoxing but still had to use my phone. I paired this with Niagara Launcher without icons, greyscale, and a privacy screen protector that happened to make my phone less shiny, but that wasn't intentional.Plain old nothing.
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Anon05/02/25, 03:38No.8101876
I forgot to attach it but fuck it. It's just a pitch black wallpaper. Not worth posting anyways.This one makes me think of grandpa. He was a strong man, worked on his farm for his whole life. He couldn't give much to my father, but he taught him to work hard and to be honest, and that was enough for him to make a name for himself. I have more than every single one of my ancestors because of my dad. Truly simpler times. The old timer never saw the sea. I can do it whenever I want, so much it became something trivial.
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Anon05/02/25, 03:44No.8101877
This makes me feel isolated. I'm not alone anymore, but there was a time where that's all I wanted. It's weird to have good friends, good mentors, a good girlfriend, and have the old psycho inside you reject all you built. Sometimes my love for life simply wanes. I feel so alien. When I was younger this was mistaken for maturity, but I that doesn't sound right.It's not possible to live alone.Even someone as spiteful as me can recognize that.
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Anon05/02/25, 04:01No.8101878
Thoughts are harmless.
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Anon05/02/25, 04:04No.8101879
I wish I still had fun playing video games.
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Anon05/02/25, 15:57No.8101923
scared of the future. worried about my mother. missing my ex girlfriend. worried i won't be able to renew my bank card (has to ship it internationally) for my online job. thinking the grind isn't worth it either ways.... and looking forward for my day off tomorrow, when hopefully i'll spend it practicing proper escapism and not dwelling on everything. wanting a shoulder to cry on, but i'm a man.
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Anon05/02/25, 23:02No.8101951
If it's brown, flush it down
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Anon05/03/25, 08:13No.8101969
RELEASE
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Anon05/03/25, 08:28No.8101971
I'm evil
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Anon05/14/25, 03:45No.8103167
My wife confessed she has a bukkake kink and I'm trying to figure out what to do about it.
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Anon05/14/25, 23:55No.8103201
I am horribly depressed. I feel like it's never going to get better, and that my life is a mistake. My parents pretty much are open that I was unplanned and they only married because I was born, and I feel as though they resent me for having autism and causing them to get marriage. I'm constantly afraid my friends are all going to abandon me and they secretly hate me. I don't talk to people much outside of work because I'm afraid I'll be used as a lolcow to bully like a previous friend group did. Antidepressants have stopped working for me and I am full of despair. I want to kill myself.
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Anon05/20/25, 00:27No.8103817
I love you all.
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Anon05/20/25, 03:07No.8103838
I've been single for two years, coming to the understanding that I'm passively suicidal for the last 7 or so, I'm in my late 30s and can't hold down a job, and I'm broke. All I want is to go build a cabin somewhere, power it by solar, and just check out of society. Everything makes me more miserable. Especially because I'm a white Canadian.
The older I get, the more certain it feels that eventually, I'm going to lose the battle against depression and find some way to kill myself.
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Anon05/21/25, 03:20No.8103941
my life is pretty great but i really wish i had a gf and dating is a fucking pain in the ass and i wish i were taller and more handsome
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Anon05/21/25, 10:16No.8103993
Mental health-wise, I am hanging by a thread. But improving my situation in any way requires a continuous effort that I simply don't have the energy or willpower for. I don't know how it's going to end for me but if I don't go to therapy or change something in the near future, it probably won't be nice.
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Anon05/21/25, 14:30No.8104005
I need for everyone who loves power to please go find a fire and die in it.
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Anon05/24/25, 10:23No.8104390
I just turned 31 and I've never been in a relationship. My whole life, I’ve been trying to do the right thing, finish school, get a degree, build a career right after. Even when I was going through a really rough time at work, I couldn’t just quit and take a break. My mother got some bad test results again and we were afraid her cancer might come back. I was so stressed that I took a job 80 km away.My free time is extremely limited. I barely have time to meet someone. I travel a lot and I’d like someone who lives relatively close. But on dating apps, there’s almost no one from my town. In the past few days, there were barely five guys in my city of over 50,000 people.I’m desperate. I spend my days alone, wondering where I went wrong. Time is slipping away, and my life consists of nothing but work and nothing else.I went to therapy, but the therapist didn’t really take my problem seriously. Her advice was just to “go out more,” but the nightlife here is just tourists, teenagers, and people doing drugs.Some people say you shouldn’t force love, that it comes naturally, but that hasn’t happened to me—and I can’t wait anymore. It’s especially hard during family lunches, when all my cousins have partners and I’ve never brought anyone with me. Even my mother, in her 60s, managed to find a new boyfriend after my father passed away. I feel awful every single day.
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Anon05/25/25, 13:43No.8104539
No stress whatsoever: i just gave an important test that took me months of preparation, it's Sunday and a sunny one too, i've bought some new books, it's been a week i haven't touched any social...And i feel with the heart at peace, after such long time
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Anon05/27/25, 08:43No.8104807
Anyone want to be friends? We can just talk and check up on each other sometimes. I'm 18 but it doesn't matter whatever age you are. I just graduated high school and it's kind of lonely now. I am kind of an emotional person and very fond of people but it's so hard to meet anyone after school. Reply to this if you want to I'll give you my TG, discord whatever (I don't like discord desu it's so trooncoded) but anything you prefer is fine
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Anon06/09/25, 03:02No.8106107
I think I am in the worst position in my life rn
I just hope things change soon. I really never asked for this.
I hope you are all doing better than me
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Anon06/11/25, 07:25No.8106413
is it almost all over?
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Anon06/16/25, 14:27No.8106963
My dad passed from a brain aneurysm about two years ago. He worked too much and didn't focus on his health. He had gotten lucky and recovered from one aneurysm two years before but just...rolled the dice poorly I guess. He was stubborn about taking medication afterwards and it took a lot of coaxing and consistent following up. He didnt like the side effects or drowsiness and played it loose - thats just who he was.He had just laid down to sleep and I woke up hearing my mum screaming. He was yelling and groaning. The last thing he said to me as I dialed for the Ambulance was "My head hurts".I can't remember the last thing I said to him.I keep thinking if there was more I could of done, or if I did too much. If I pushed a little harder maybe he would have been convinced. Maybe if I pushed less he would've been less stubborn about it. Neither answer really gives me comfort. He was only 59.The thing that sucks the most is that he'll never get to see me play out and execute on all the lessons he tried to teach me, be a granddad or just....slow down and stop working.I have this dream that plays out in my head where I have kids, he's retired and he spends time coming to pick them up from the park like he used to when I was a kid.Now I'm in my early 30s and I'm part way through playing out that dream... knowing that it wont be the same. I fucking hate it.Its hard to explain. I still have loved ones but its not the same.I've accepted that I'm never going to be okay. I just wish I said and did more.I miss him.
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Anon06/17/25, 02:38No.8107006
Even though I won't make it I must do it all anyway.
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Anon06/19/25, 01:00No.8107349
I got molested by my best friend when I was 12 years old and the course of my life and every major choice I have made has been dictated by how that experience affected me.
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Anon06/25/25, 03:00No.8107948
For what seems to be practically all my life, I've felt inadequate, like I just can't be good enough or fit in anywhere, and simultaneously felt as though by trying to better myself or improve my various situations, I was violating some sort of social contract, one to which I was unwillingly bound to since the day of my birth, and unescapable until my eventual demise. Of course I've fought my battles against this mental prison I've been trapped in, and many times I've even come out victorious, allowing me my various pursuits with making friends, landing decent jobs, improving my skills, and even finding love. However, it simply never lasts. One way or another, I always regress. As much as I despise these horrid depressions in my life, I can't help but always come back to them.
I quit my job about seven months ago. My old co-workers miss me, and my boss says he'd hire me back, but I have no desire to yet. I don't talk to most of my friends anymore. I'm sure they enjoyed my company, but the fact that I've hardly heard from any of them since? Maybe I just didn't have that much a connection with them anyway. Improve my skills? I could do that. Just give me some time, I'm sure I'll get around to doing that any day now... Don't ask me about love. It exists to waste your time.
I gotta get out of this little funk of mine. No more throwing all my life away on the computer. I have enough money to pay my rent for a while longer, but I need a job. I wanna try getting into the whole acting business. Amateur voice work, standing around as an extra, whatever! I just gotta get my foot in the door, and I can get my big break, and finally break out of my wretched cycle once and for all. This little idea of a possible, yet likely very distant future is one of the only things keeping me going.
If you read through all that crap, then congrats; you get a little bit of trivia. This image was taken by my buddy in March of 2024, as we were driving west through Flagstaff, AZ. Helluva place.
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Anon06/30/25, 00:49No.8108416
im 25 and im starting to release that "dying alone" isnt the remote possibility that i thought it was.
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Anon06/30/25, 08:26No.8108437
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Anon06/30/25, 09:03No.8108441
im tired of life in so many ways.i keep hunting for a relationship, from app to app. it just seems so pointless. im too ugly or fat or what i cant sayall i do is work and play games, have hardly any friends, and see them even less.The only things i have to live for are my mom and brother. even then i think about killing myself everyday, they would be better off without me im sureDoes God care? i dont know.im just tired of the world, but im still trying to find something to live for outside of my mom and brother.i try and dont know why
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Anon06/30/25, 12:12No.8108454
OK, so I have multiple things.
So some time ago I joined the Army. Kinda out of a sense of adventure. I always wanted to become a soldier. Not really sure why tho. My contract goes 15 years in total here in my country (not the US) and I signed because I was sure Im gonna love it. Now it's too late to turn away.
Now I'm starting to have some serious doubts. Not because of some imminent war or anything of that sort. More like I'm seeing what I'm missing. I rarely see my friends, I don't date, I can't sign up for any clubs because I'm always on the move (from one course to another) I can't even play any video games because I'm sharing my room with a superior (which means I'm pretty much confined to my bed and I don't have ANY space for my pc, which also means I can't talk to my friends over discord etc.). I spend most of my time inside the barracks, which is really depressing desu (don't have a car). I can't afford an apartment (which wouldn't be worth it because I'm never actually staying at one place for longer than a month).
It kind of just feels like I'm not really living life... I can't just call in sick and just go on a hike like I used to do before the military.
And the job I'm doing isn't even that fun. Were rarely outside. I'm either just sitting around my room or I'm doing some bullshit work for some sgt that I'm 100% NOT trained to do. And the people I work with... Man, I thought that this (the military) is a place for hard-working people with motivation but that's not true. Most here are total degenerates that are abusing every substance known to man. They're super unmotivated and look down on me for actually wanting to learn. So that's also not really nice. Here I was thinking I'm gonna become a better/fitter person, but the people I'm supposed to work with have nothing better to do than just sit around and talk about porn and raves all day.
Hope It gets better some day... Have a nice day /wg/ <3
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Anon06/30/25, 12:13No.8108455
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Anon06/30/25, 14:24No.8108461
My email provider I had since the nineties went out of business. It was apparently the last one on earth not to require you already have an email address in order to sign up for an email address. Or a cell phone. Don't want one of those goddamn things listening to the conversations around me.>you VILL vear ze ankle monitorFuck that shit.And of course, email address is a mandatory field on job applications. Guess I gotta find an Amish community to live in or something.
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Anon07/02/25, 00:58No.8108597
I feel like my life is on hold. I recently came back home after living abroad for a couple of years. I miss being there so much.I am not sure how I will ever go back there under the same circumstances. I should probably give up and start actually living here, but I am simply unable to create any roots here because my heart is there.
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Anon07/05/25, 11:05No.8108965
I got into med school, I actually got into med school.
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Anon07/10/25, 19:55No.8109404
My wife and I are struggling to have a child. After trying for years with not even a pregnancy scare we are now on our second round of IVF and so far have had very limited success due to her having early onset menopause. I know it is still possible that things will work out but the concept of us not having a family is becoming very real.We love each other deeply and it wouldn't break our marriage if we are unsuccessful but the reality of where we are in life has been very hard for both of us to deal with. I'm not sure how badly it will affect her if we are unable to have a child but I know it will likely be baggage that I will carry for a long time.Hardest part is that we are just waiting. Always just waiting for a glimmer of hope and good news but knowing it may never come.
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Anon07/13/25, 19:13No.8109604
Life hits hard. Just remeber to keep pushing anon. Don't give up. There is always something worth living for. The small things matter, and don't let others talk you down.
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Anon07/14/25, 02:21No.8109622
I'm 28. I've been through a lot. Good things and bad things. I'm lucky to be able of apprecieting the good ones. Somehow i'm in the best time of my life, in a chaotic way.
I'll start with the good ones: a coworker from another city, Lily, became my best friend, she's been really supporting, understanding and seems to like spending part of her time talking with me. We don't see eachother much, but when we do, I feel really confortable. She's a great human being. Also, my last tenant offered me the house to buy it. It's not a huge nor the nicest house, but I can afford it, and son, if everything goes well, will me mine. Not a lot of people of my age can say the same. It's a reason to keep the good spirit up, and something to fight for. I started to work out a couple moths ago, and my self-steem is higher than ever. It's helping me to not get sad too, but I know, deep down, it's just distracting me from de bad things:
I recently got divorced after a short 3 year marriage. We got married with plans of buying a house and form a family. A lot of bad things happened when we were together an both got into depression, separately, so we split up and she moved to another city and I'm back at my parent's who get into arguments every day. The first weeks being alone, I noticed all of my friends were gone, they didn't have time for me except one, my best friend. He was the only one who didn't matter what, he was available to hang out or just get a couple of beers. But a moth ago, his mental health got worse since of his addiction to meth, so his family got him into an asylum. Now I do nothing but work, go to the gym and sleep. As I said, Lily has been a huge support and without her, i'd be deep down depressed, but I can't help but think, that maybe, i'll be alone in the end, with no one to share what I may get
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Anon07/15/25, 22:41No.8109782
I’ve been working in a startup for a year and a half. My salary is fucking garbage. Compared to my skills and what I actually do, no one believes it.
But the truth is, the company is honestly perfect for me, except for the salaryBut I’m 26. Money fucking matters now
So I’ve been looking for a better job for a while. Today, I got an offer. From a much bigger company. Double the salary. Still not great, but it’s a start. I should be really fucking happy right now, right?I’m not. Not even close.Two months ago, a new colleague joined the company. Same team. Her desk is right in front of mine. She’s insanely smart, sharp as hell, and somehow I found someone I could actually be myself around.
Its rare in such a conservative society like here in Egypt to find someone so progressive and open-minded, specially in a town far from the capital.. I told her I don’t believe in Islam. Don’t believe in any religion, actually. And I even shared my anonymous Twitter with her — the one where I post all my anti-religion, anti-regime, borderline illegal shit. Stuff that could get me fucked.And she was cool with it.It wasn’t just that though, which is already huge. She became the one person I don’t filter myself around. I feel safe. And yeah, I caught real feelings. I love her. We talk all day, literally 1000+ WhatsApp messages a day, and in person at work, its even better. We vibe so fucking well.And now I have to fucking leave.The motherfucker companies are suddenly interested in me. Not only today’s offer, I’m expecting another soon. Everything says go. Logically, I should go.But my heart is screaming no. I’m in real pain.Some guy’s gonna be interviewed to replace me. I can’t imagine him sitting at my desk, facing her, talking to her every day. living what I had.Should I throw away a good opportunity just because I’m too fucking weak to walk away from something Im emotionally attached to?I should be happy
But all I feel is pain
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Anon07/27/25, 16:05No.8110859
I feel like the only cure for what ails me is to lure everyone who loves power more than me to one place, dust off and nuke the site from orbit.
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Anon07/27/25, 22:24No.8110876
Found out today that my grandfather, the man I always looked up to, who taught me important things, the only person in my neglected childhood who cared about me, the man who's death left deep deep scars, was infact a god damn fucking child raping pedophile. Never messed with me, always looked out for me, chewed out my piece of shit parents to their face too. How the fuck am I supposed to feel now? I looked up to him because he deserved to be looked up at. He has done so much for so many people, a real fucking man who stood up multiple times for others. I guess my mother and cousin could be just lying but it'd be quite a conspiracy. So, currently drinking, smoking, listening to music and looking at cool papes. Shoot me in the fucking head
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Anon07/28/25, 15:18No.8110916
Both my parents had major health scares in the last two months. Dad's got congenital heart failure and had a near heart attack in May and Mom had a seizure from the stress of dealing with that. Parent's having failing health is a part of life but they're both still relatively young, only 48. They aren't the best parents, but they're the only ones I got. Scared I'll lose them both soon.
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Anon07/29/25, 02:41No.8110939
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Anon07/30/25, 18:51No.8111120
A year or two ago I remember coming across a guy who flew across the US to meet up with a girl that he's liked for years who was now finishing up her PhD program. Not sure if you're still around, but hoping things worked out for the best for you. I remember last time you wrote on here things ended on an ambiguous but positive note.Meanwhile nothing happened with me. I wasn't able to meet up with her the couple of times I came back to visit my state, and our chats slowly started to fizzle out. My gut is telling me she's with someone else now. Part of me is happy for her cause I do like her and wish her the best... but another part of me has that "what if I was braver and asked her out" though.I'm 24 now and still I can't believe it. I remember coming here at 16/17/18 and 24 feeling like it’s so far away. I had such high hopes for this age, thinking that I’d be an adult and have things more or less figured out. Instead I feel more lost than ever. I made a long post describing what happened in my life, but reading it back it felt like nonstop complaining from my end. I just need to go ahead and work harder to build the life that I would want living instead of this purgatory I found myself in. Cause what I'm doing right now isn't living.
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Anon08/01/25, 23:22No.8111412
I miss my friendsI'm 22 and at this point I'm really starting to see things happen to people I knew. Friends I went to school with. Girls we used to chase as kids. I've seen people lose themselves to drugs. I've already seen some friends die. I'm watching people I grew up with become gamblers and drinkers. I've seen some of them turn into bad people. Others have left the country and never come back. Just left without a word. Some people I used have such great times have become ill because of the drugs they got involved with when we were kids. I think of one friend who used to have such a great smile and laugh. I haven't seen that smile or laugh since 2016.I miss my friends. I miss them all. But I have hope that someday God will reach out His hand and guide us all home.And then, at last, we shall all be healed.To everyone in 2016, I miss you.
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Anon08/06/25, 07:47No.8111974
Just ended things with a friend of 7 years yesterday. I won't be at his wedding. Several of our mutual friends will never speak to me again probably.
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Anon08/14/25, 14:02No.8112737
I'm hungry
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Anon08/16/25, 04:30No.8112878
I wonder if we'll ever get back to where we were, or if the damage is too severe to recover from.
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Anon08/16/25, 23:46No.8112994
Feeling a bit aimless and stuck even as I approach my mid-30s. Lonely too but fear of rejection after my last breakup has just sort of made me accept that I'm going to be alone.
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Anon08/23/25, 08:17No.8113822
Die son of a bitch.
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Anon08/23/25, 17:24No.8113866
Just found out that my ex, who had no sex drive with me, has been having crazy sex with her roommate. I've known the guy for years and she told me that I have nothing to worry about as she doesn't even view him as a man. Guess something changed.I can't really blame her for falling out of love with me. She gave me way too many chances and I pushed them all away. I was never there. She invited me on trips and events and for support but I could never be there for her, with work or family always getting in the way. Now I realize that they were all bullshit excuses, and it hurts thinking to how many fun memories I missed with her. How many experiences I'll now never have. Despite knowing full well that dwelling on the past is pointless my mind just can't help but hyperfixate on the what if. What if I was stronger, what if I could do more. What if our relationship was more than just shooting each other messages while I was living across the country. Meanwhile this dude was there for literally everything, and for years. He got to see all that I missed. And I can't help but feel at least a ting of jealousy for that.They got together after we broke up so there was no infidelity but it still stings, especially since I only recently realized that I really do love her and was finally in a position to spend more time with her. I know that she definitely wasn't the one for me, I just wish we had more time.
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Anon08/23/25, 21:25No.8113919
My wife is having severe issues with interacting with me when it comes to cleaning. I do clean on my own and even am usually open to doing additional work when asked. However, she has an issue with things being cleaned her way and with no questions. For example, today we were cleaning the house and she decided to womansplain how simple green needs to be rinsed off and can't be the only cleaner for a floor. I already intended on doing that so I waited calmly as she explained and then replied "I know, thank you." No sass, no attitude, no tonal changes. The right thing to do, or so I thought.She get agitated, and says "don't get mad", and when I point out that I'm not and she's the agitated one and how I'm still just cleaning, she stomps off into the room and cries.She comes out and asks me to stop getting mad, mind you I'm still cleaning and intentionally being very calm. So I ask her what I did? What set her off? She scoffs and goes back into the room and cries some more.Finally, she comes out and asks for a hug and tells me she doesn't want to talk about it anymore, also that "she was wrong and how it's all her fault". I've been married before, I know a trap when I hear one so I shut up and let her leave back into the room again.Now I'm waiting for the floor to dry and then I'll finish up the frontroom.
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Anon08/24/25, 21:13No.8114006
From the outside my life apparently looks perfect. I'm 26, I have a good job, a motorcycle, lots of friends and I don't look terrible either.My coworkers thinks I'm a playboy, my friends think I've got it all planned out and my parents rarely reach out anymore because they assume I always have things to do.I have been finding myself drinking alone, punching walls until my knuckles bleed and then falling asleep in my clothes.I miss my old girlfriend, another bridge I burned like a fucking moron.I fear, almost more than anything, that I will never find that kind of love again.
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Anon08/25/25, 05:36No.8114045
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Anon08/25/25, 13:01No.8114077
Im 41, i have to carry everyone around me.
Even my ex gf, everyone close depends on me, but i can't depend on no one for anything.
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Anon08/25/25, 15:20No.8114091
summer is ending
(literally listening to the song by kino rn)sometimes I felt like the soviet union in 1990but now it feels like 2000, with an uncertain maybe promising future ahead
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Anon08/25/25, 23:56No.8114125
People tried to hurt me. Tried to spread rumors about me. Dig up my past. I moved away. Im in my trade, trying to be the best version of myself. I got to church every sunday. Work every weekday. Im going to propose to my girlfriend. They told me to kill myself. Ive thought about it. Im still here now..
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Anon09/01/25, 02:21No.8114772
Love you all.
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Anon09/01/25, 04:29No.8114785
I hate who I am, or at least I hate my flaws. I think that's normal though. I'm 27, I have never had a girlfriend and I currently have no friends. Even online I feel like I have no friends, there is no one I talk to with any consistency whatsoever. Even my own family I don't talk to on any regular basis. I feel truly alone and mostly believe that if I were to end it all no one would miss me. I don't want to go to therapy because I feel convinced if I were to mention how I truly feel I would be carted away in a straight-jacket to insure I didn't redwall the therapist's room or my own. I often daydream about my life either becoming better or about life if it never went to shit. I feel like I was supposed to be some sort of great intelligent mind of the current times but I got off at the wrong bus stop. And then to think such a thing I cringe at myself for being clearly delusional.
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Anon09/01/25, 11:18No.8114803
Everything seems to be more or less in order for me, yet things seem monotone, I'm not looking to any new day in my job and all that. Also struggling with self discipline when trying to reduce smoking. But yeah, I guess, really, I just need to expose myself to more bright impressions and see more of the beautiful things around me
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Anon09/01/25, 17:07No.8114816
I no longer dream like I used to. I was such a dreamer in my late teens and early twenties. Now I just feel dull and dead behind the eyes. I don't visit /wg/ and get lost in the images like I used to anymore. Something inside me has died.
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Anon09/02/25, 19:24No.8114957
You received a body.
You will learn lessons.
There are no mistakes, only lessons.
A lesson is repeated until it is learned.
Learning lessons does not end.
“There” is no better than “Here.”
Others are merely mirrors of you.
What you make of your life is up to you.
The answers lie inside you.
Your answers lie inside you.
You will forget all of this.
You can remember it whenever you want.Suffering is a choice. (Eliminate attachment and desire)You can heal your body with mindfulness.Time isn’t real; everything is happening *now*.Your thoughts shape your reality.Consciousness doesn’t obey the laws of physics.Those who cling to fear will suffer most
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Anon09/02/25, 20:28No.8114962
Why does everyone take every single thing in their lives so seriously?I feel like I live in a completely different way to most of my friends. (Only the two of my closest friends agree with me actually)Anecdote 1, when one of my friends posted one of his drawings on instagram, it was a sketch of a woman. I commented, "She's pretty, but I know you are prettier!", he immediately messaged me that I should delete my comment.Anecdote 2, I changed my discord status to "Addicted to <Friend Name>". He immediately messaged me saying that it's weird and that his girlfriend might see it.Anecdote 3, One of my mutual friends who is pretty feminine posted an image of him and his legs were pretty far apart. So I commented "Spread those legs for me too"
He removed my comment and blocked me.And these are just from the past few months. Writing this, I feel like I am the one who is taking things too seriously to be honest.But seriously, I think that everything can be joked about and I do treat everything as such. I don't get angry or defensive over light ribbing (At least I would like to believe so) and I get when someone is being sincere and when they're being sarcastic. Feel like it'd be such a drag to treat every single bad thing which happens in their life seriously. Don't these people ever just laugh?
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Anon09/04/25, 04:09No.8115063
My life is a mess. With my work, I have little time to dedicate to myself.
It seems like something is in my head telling me I need to read books to find something I'm missing. I've read three books this year, something I've never read before, but I still haven't found what I'm supposedly looking for, but it seems like I'm on the right path.A lot of things I do feel like they've already happened (like reading books), or taking a trip, or even talking to a random person at work. As soon as I do them, something pops into my head as if it had already happened. It's crazy. I see that many people report that they've considered taking their own life. I've thought about it too, but something came to mind that I've done this in past lives and it doesn't solve anything, because it just resets your life. At some point, you'll be born again and you'll go through the same thing. It becomes a bit of a waste of time. What you really need to do is find your purpose in life and face it head-on. I know it's hard to think about facing it in these situations, but the answer is in your own mind; it wants to tell you something.I see a psychologist every week and take some medication to control it, but I know that one day I'll need to stop taking the medication and face my true purpose in this life.(Sorry for the English, I used the translator)
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Anon09/08/25, 22:39No.8115616
I wish I could go to sleep and wake up as somebody else.
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Anon09/15/25, 02:36No.8116184
The worst feeling I've ever felt is knowing that I need someone much more than they need me.
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Anon09/15/25, 06:08No.8116208
watching ALONE, on my night off. this week is gonna be okay. getting a new couch that i'm excited about!
i keep overthinking everything im saying and doing at work, and it's making me hate myself. ive been struggling with suicidal ideation these past few weeks, but thankfully i have a person that is helping me feel better.
the best advice i heard recently is our brains aren't made to be happy, they're made for survival. so i'm holding on to any bit of happiness i can, and letting the negative thoughts roll through. it'll be okay, but if it isn't, that's okay too i guess.
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Anon09/15/25, 13:57No.8116233
im wasting my life by staying at home all day all night because i fear judgement by others.
Mother always protected me under her umbrella, that at every storm it gets weaker and weaker. She makes everything for me, even basic choices.
She controlls me.
She does it for my best, yet i dont feel loved.
In the outside world, it's worse. I feel observed, i feel watched, i feel analized by bystanders, strangers, friends, parents..
im seeking love by meeting girls. If i manage that.
I ruined friendships with girls, i ruined them because i wanted love from them. Only that, not caring their feelings, just my selfish approval by others.
im convinced that i dont deserve to be loved, so i just follow the path of life that god made for me. The same boring everyday life, that goes on repeat and repeat..
i don't have a part time job. I tried to applicate and just entering the store i almost passed out. Going outside is a nightmare.
guess im a neet.
and im going to be 20 years old.
heaven knows that im misreable now.
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Anon09/15/25, 14:09No.8116234
I've been living wity my family my while life. My grandma passed away when I was in gradeschool and my dad died in highschool due to cancer. Now, its just me, my brother, my mom, and my grandpa. I love them and I'm blessed to have such an amazing family, but I really want to move out and start forming my own life and responsibilities. I'm about to be 26 and really want to buy a house with my brother, but there are always new problems that arise whenever I try to move out. Who will take care of the chores if we move? Who will help pay the bills? I'm not planning on moving to a different state or anything, I want to be within easy driving distance to my mom. The most recent problem is "what do we do with the old house". The new plan is to renovate our current house in order to sell it easier once we move out, but its taking way longer than we hoped. We wanted to get everything done this summer, but now autumn is starting and we still have so much to do. I was hoping to finally move out before the end of the year, but I guess I'll just have to wait a bit longer once more.
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Anon09/15/25, 20:02No.8116250
I've been saying I'm going to end it all for years and it never happens. It's that time again. Although I'd probably just fuck it up like everything else in my life. She doesn't need me.1) Write a last will and testament
2) Write down all my passwords so my wife can have all of my old accounts and whatnot
3) Spend time with both our cats
4) Mail the note that will probably fall on deaf ears
5) Be off the ride for good
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Anon09/18/25, 20:22No.8116589
My life's been mostly shit for the last year and a half; I can't find a job and I'm struggling to get back into exercising and/or doing my creative hobbies. However it's my birthday tomorrow and my wife's planning a little party for it (the theme of which is a surprise). Can't complain too much, lads.
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Anon09/18/25, 22:09No.8116603
My whole life has been on auto pilot and it feels like I haven't done anything, even though on paper I am ahead of my peers.In school, I did not push myself at all, just coasted through with average grades. I skipped uni of fear it will be the same - I will just daydream in lectures and then go home. Am decent with computers because I spend all my waking moment tinkering with them so got a good job despite that anyway. Worked for a couple of years, got promoted a couple of times, moved out of my parents, bought a car, soon I will buy my own apartment too. But it seems so pointless. I just stay home all day, work couple of hours then waste away watching TV shows.Feels like everything just happens to me and I did not "earn" it, so my achievements do not feel like such at all. My job has been fully remote ever since I was hired, so I don't really talk to people, my social skills are actually terrible, I had only one very close friend that I cut off recently. I am currently 25, never had a girlfriend, and I would like to get one to see how a relationship would feel, but I don't even know if I manage to get one somehow - what to do with her. I feel like I am very boring and we will have very little to talk about. More worrying is I have noticed recently I don't really have friends also, while in school I had people I was talking to daily but after we graduated they all went away.I know getting to know more people may be a partial solution to the stuff that worries me but I have no idea how to start now, as I have been self isolating my whole life, and for the past 5 or so years it has gotten way worse as I am not in school anymore so I never talk to people at all. I tried going to work at the office and talking to some colleagues IRL but I stumble over my words, I over analyze stuff I want to say and by the time I am ready to say it the subject has changed... Just feels awful to be so bad at socializing at 25, so I avoid trying, which will probably lead to worse..
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Anon09/21/25, 03:31No.8116924
whats on my mind is the absolute shitshow that humanity has become. at some point we will collectively fuck up even worse, can you imagine?i'm in my sixth decade now and it's ok, lots of ups and downs. if you're down on your luck it can get better one hopes. but the body only lasts so long, and sometimes the mind lasts less.some lovely papes in here, thanks all.
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Anon09/22/25, 02:26No.8117007
Then when I came home that night
To lie awake in bed
I thought of that old gypsy
And the words that she said
And now I see with due respect
The more we learn the worse we get
So if you feel you've no regrets
Go have your fortune read
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Anon09/22/25, 02:30No.8117008
And she told me a riddle I'll never forget
Then left with the answer I've never found yet
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Anon09/30/25, 23:07No.8118218
shitty pape incoming but posting since its number 24 in my folder, and just turned 24 a couple days ago.What a long, strange trip its been... To quote the Grateful Dead. I never thought Id make it this far, in all honesty. The funniest thing would be that it mightn't actually happened were it not for this damn general. I look at my life then, when I was 18 and filled with so much fucking crap after watching my mom die, coming to /wg/ to vent, and receiving such warm, caring and humane responses that all the bullshit slowly started leaking out like pus through bitter tears. And like a tired dog that always crawls back to that one spot when he's in pain, since then I sure did my fair share of bitching and complaining to y'all in this small corner of existence.Not to get any more poetical and masturbatory with language, but I truly am grateful. I am grateful for all the people who posted papes and shared their story, and those who had them resonate enough to warrant a sincere response. And through all the dung that life throws in your face, for all the faith I had lost and found, at least this little caravanserai exists to alleviate our burdens through sharing. So yeah... thanks for all the advice, support and papes, and looking forward for many more to come. Godbless
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Anon10/04/25, 13:19No.8118767
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Anon10/04/25, 13:20No.8118768
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Anon10/14/25, 15:44No.8119978
Spoke at a company convention recently and was told by several people afterward that I had moved them. Very humbling. Don't know quite what to think about it.
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Anon10/15/25, 12:04No.8120046
HiI had a relationship from when i was twenty. It cooled of and lasted longer than it should have, if you know what i mean?We didn't even touch each other in the end. After being depressed and longing for connection. I was the one who tried to talk about it, she really didn't care enough to make any changes. It cost me my education, i really couldn't think about anything else and i lacked focus studying history and just quit. Meanwhile she finished her bachleor and masters degree while i was working my ass of and doing nothing but supporting her. When it came to it after ten years I ended it right before i turned 30. Two weeks later she slept with what had been my best friend and i basically walked in on them. Afterwards i just fell apart, i didn't do anything other than cutting them out of my life.
One of my other friends is still hanging out with the douche who betrayed me and every time he brings his name up it just drives us apart but i can't bring myself to tell him.Im 36 now and i can't not identify myself with what happened. My life those ten years feels like a black hole i can't get out of. They're probably living their life, it's feels so unfair. I don't want to become bitter either it's just... I can't get anything done. I am a wreck and I've tried therapy but it didn't help at all. I don't know how to get over this, where to start even. Six years hasn't been enough to heal this stuff. Im not sure where I'll end up, reinventing yourself after something like that is so hard...
