ck2 rant thread - /vst/

Anonymous11/03/25, 12:17No.2200328CK2 rant thread

>choose muslim Seljuk >begome zorroastrian >recreate the Persian Empire (i'm turkish) >can't join the Immortals for some reason (so no cool quest) >begome zorroastrian christ, aka 'Saoshyant' (no Holy Fury's reformation / God-king update. Paradox wtf?!) >nothing happens (all this madness and incest for nothing), just "+5 mazdan opinion" >dies because sad, LITERALLY NOTHING HAPPENS, the zorroastrian yisus dies and NOTHING HAPPENS >mfw i felt for another nothingburger despite religions being heavy in CRUSADER kings 2 >the high priest declares GREAT holy war for Egypt >can choose beneficiary, doesn't matters, Egypt belongs to the one that was chose by the high priest (WTF?!) >le hecking rebellion starts in Egypt during the crusade (zorroasade?) >win, only gets the non-rebelled part of Egypt, the rest will belong to Abyssinia once the rebellion dies >meanwhile trying to revive Zunism (\[T]/ ZVN INVICTVS \[T]/), secret sects work like shit >mfw Zunism's revival would be another waste of time because my entire family and besties are bunch of degenerate incestuous retards At this point I'm all for converting to Chuddhism (Chuddha was right all along) and start genociding zorroastrians. (I would like to begome Tengrist, but unreformed pagans are a pain in the ass when you play them. Not even Taoists can demand conversion. Paradox WTF?!) Because the best part is now the cuckholic pope wants a cucksade against me, and cuckholics have more man-power than zorroastrians despite they're are in constant civil wars and are poor.

Replies

Anon11/03/25, 12:35No.2200340

Also, before all the greentext, while trying to rebuilt zorroastrianism, its secret cult got bugged (what a surprise) and the already zorroastrian vassals were mad at me for some unknown reason.

Anon11/03/25, 12:38No.2200344

And despite being a """reformed pagan""" religion, the "demand conversion" still doesn't work sometimes for, again, unknown reasons.

Anon11/03/25, 12:41No.2200349

Also, why you can't help your bros aganst foreign enemies? Why? They are your vassals, yet you can't do pretty much anything interesting alongside them.

Anon11/03/25, 12:48No.2200357

And somehow usurpers also appear with no connection to your dynasty or the throne, moreover CELIBATES, and somehow they have no problem unleashing a civil war at the worst moment of the empire they want to become emperors of.One of the main reasons I hate the AI (that shares your dynasty, country, religion) of this game it's because it has 0 urge to preserve your dynasty, empire or religion, which is the main goal of the game.No matter how in danger your dynasty is, your relatives will rather go extinct that ally you or become your vassals in a single strong empire.

Anon11/03/25, 13:02No.2200375

>>choose muslim Seljuk >>begome zorroastrian stopped reading right there

Anon11/03/25, 13:58No.2200437

You sound new to the game. Everyone deals with getting cucked by rebellions in the war target sometimes, and Catholics are the only people who get holy fury crusades. just build up some money, buy some mercenaries, and then truce break abyssinia until you have all the parts of egypt you want. trucebreaking across religion group boundaries doesn't matter unless you really care about prestige for some reason, and you can declare wars with mercs raised, which is generally the best way to do a bunch of small wars in quick succession in ck2. if you only use the mercs and not your levies it isn't even as expensive as you might assume. (you can use the buttons in the military tab to only dismiss your levies if you need to)

Anon11/05/25, 03:52No.2206738

>nothingburger despite religions being heavy in CRUSADER kings 2 Yeah 'crusader' kings 2. So Christians and Muslims. And kinda Vikings too. You chose a religion which was largely dead before game start, what did you expect?

Anon11/05/25, 11:10No.2207463

>Zoroastrian >One of the best artifacts in game which increase morale damage >A busted bloodline with +30% Religious Damage when you become Saoshyant >Also other busted bloodlines that attarcts great warrior like the Karling bloodline >The ability to do Great Holy War like Jihad through decision >Being in the area to get Alexander's bloodline >Having all the silk road and chinese influence >Always stuff to do and people to rival from Indians, Greeks, Latins and Muslims as well as Mongol Hordes coming to you and China that can become expensionist >Always a hard early game so the rise the power isnt boring They are fun, you just dont know how to play the game really. Only Jews are really unfun to play unless you go Merchant Republic or be an Indian Jain vegan in Sri Lanka. Iirc, there are even scripted events for the last Zoro rulers in 936.

Anon11/10/25, 20:06No.2226362

Bump

Anon11/22/25, 10:49No.2254349

Anon, you should try the Lux Invicta mod if you haven't already. You get to not only btfo abrahamics, but also hellenistics and gnostics in the equivalent of a late antiquity battle royale

Anon11/30/25, 22:19No.2271999

>mfw Zunism's revival would be another waste of time because my entire family and besties are bunch of degenerate incestuous retards Wait till you find out that Zunism's unique reformation doctrine lets you do divine marriages

Anon11/30/25, 22:53No.2272076

Honestly I closed my CK2 game to reply to this post and you're spitting facts man. -Le incest religion mechanics are a joke. They actually did update it post-Holy Fury by giving it a Saoshyant bloodline, but that's it. -The way multiple, overlapping wars interact can be the absolute pinnacle of war gameplay -- but it's also stilted and disjointed, strangely legalistic.

Anon12/01/25, 09:58No.2272896

>>mfw i felt for another nothingburger I mean you played CK2. Nothingburger is the whole gameplay experience. What? You thought all those cool stories people write are actual gameplay and not the larp they did in their heads?