Anon10/17/25, 07:15No.41375761
I made friends with my apartment neighbour recently and sometime after we started hanging out, she told me about her plans to start HRT. By her admission it seems my presence was part of her realisation, and after a long acid trip we took she confided in me. Seeing someone go through this and being aware of my role in this person's life has got me to start reading Nevada again, with the question of what's up with the mentality some of us have around egg cracking as some sort of sport?When I read this at the beginning of my transition I looked at Maria and went "hell yeaaa she's so fucking cool, she could spot that egg from a mile away" but now I have enough perspective that my reading of the book has significantly changed. The thing that interests me the most is how my position has changed on egg cracking and the race against time mentality a lot of us (understandably) have.The general wisdom when someone feels a twinge of dysphoria here is "get on hormones as soon as you can" which isn't necessarily bad advice. No doubt her dysphoria came as soon as the twinkish era of her 20s began to fade, and I often find her philosophical cope to be quite tiring which causes me to be very blunt about her getting on HRT and trying to impart a lot of wisdom upon her that I wish I knew when I began transition. But at the same time I am watching someone figure this shit out for herself and need to be a bit more patient with her.This shit is fucking hard, most of us are probably numb to the process of it being past a certain number of years, but remember how much this felt like jumping off a cliff? I don't think it's ethical to push her off the edge, really I think the only thing I can do that's productive is to be the presence that tells her it's okay. Transitioning is a long horrible messy banging against the walls to see the world, if I'm so concerned with helping her then I need to question the tranny fairy godmother role I've internalised.good book desu.
