Anon01/17/26, 18:32No.7860792
>feel free to criticize so i can improve
Firstly, it'd help to indicate that it read Right to Left, since the context is that you're an english speaker, making an english comic for other english speakers, we'd naturally read Left to Right unless told otherwise. An anime/manga aesthetic doesn't change that, since there's plenty of comics inspired by such aesthetics too, that read Left to Right.>Page 1
I have no idea what the bottom middle panel is supposed to be... a person jumping the ropes, perhaps?
This page gives an ominious, tense feeling, when I think that wasn't what you were going for.
I assume this page is a moment that comes after her deciding to go pro, whilst she is training, but there is no real indication that's the case, or that she is the one watching the television.>Page 4
The hatching feels sloppy and amateurish in panel 2, and isn't particularly great anywhere in the comic. There's also something about how it's cutting from a past memory (black background) to current time that doesn't feel quite right, like it's too sudden and jarring... maybe some black coming in from the corner of the page and fading to the white would have worked to make it feel smoother?In Panel 6 the hand holding the phone suddenly switches. The forced perspective also feel a little extreme and goofy.>Page 6
In panels 2,3, and 4, she goes from having open eyes, to shut eyes, to open eyes again. Maybe I'm just looking for things to be critical, but it just seems oddly redundant? Maybe panel 2 should have been her climbing out of the subway or something similar.Panel 6 just doesn't really look like she's pressed up against glass. You probably needed to add highlights, and circular squishes to the pads of her fingers and hands for it to look right, rather than some random hatching.