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Anonymous10/18/25, 20:17No.1808520418th century europe be like
>Count Hans XVII von Wintelstein of Bumblefugger, Count of the Holy Roman Empire, dies
>succession dispute for control of his vast estates breaks out between his nephew Joseph de Sainte-Rande, Margrave of Tittelwinck, and his illegitimate son, Hans Wintelfugsburg
>Holy Roman Emperor Charles XXII von Habsburg backs Hans Wintelfugsburg and secures support from Pope John XXXXIV
>French King Louis XXIII intervenes on the side of Joseph de Sainte-Rande because Louis XXIII enjoyed very good relations with Joseph de Sainte-Rande's 16 year old daughter
>Several European powers led by Austria organise into the League of Branau am Inn in opposition to French ambitions in Germany
>Britain joins the League of Branau am Inn because their Prime Minister the Earl of Slough believes France cannot be allowed to have nice things
>Prussia does the opposite of what Prussia does and so allies with France against Prussia but doesn't actually join the League of Beauvais
>The League of Branau am Inn and the League of Beauvais both invited Russia to join their respective alliances but both accidentally addressed their letters to Tsar Peter V, who had been dead for five years, rather than to his son Tsar Ivan VIII
>Spain allies with France under the Eighteenth Bourbon compact alliance treaty and promptly does nothing to help France throughout the entire war
>Poland-Lithuania is neutral but still has its lands ravaged by both sides
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Anon10/18/25, 20:18No.18085205
>A British Army of fifty thousand men, most of whom were German mercenaries, bumbles its way into being captured by the French and afterwards Hanover was occupied by the League of Beauvais
>these prisoners are promptly shipped back to Britain and are fighting again by the end of the week
>Baron Strong von Urgelwitz led an Austro-Saxon-Hungarian-Palatinate-Hessian army to victory over a Franco-Bavarian army winning a major victory
>this however did little to change the strategic situation of the war and the very next day the French occupied the von Wintelstein estates with a massive army of sixty thousand men
>Louis XXIII considered backing the Even Younger Pretender, exiled Jacobite claimant to the British throne, but changed his mind after the Even Younger Pretender spent all the money he was given on paying off his considerable gambling debts
>As a result Britain was free to continue bankrolling the entire League of Branau am Inn
>Baron Strong von Urgelwitz tragically died after falling off his horse in a hunting accident
>His funeral was attended by leading officers and commanders from both sides of the war and all 18 of his illegitimate children
>A Russian man sneezed in the general direction of the Ottomans, causing the League of Beauvais and the League of Branau am Inn to briefly consider putting aside their differences to fight Russia only for their fighting to resume after Tsar Ivan VIII died from Syphilis and a succession struggle broke out in Saint Petersburg, leaving Russia temporarily unable to do anything for a minimum of five years
>after eleven years of largely inconsequential maneuvering and a handful of actual battles Holy Roman Emperor Charles XXII yielded to Louis XXIII and recognised Joseph de Sainte-Rande as the real and legitimate heir to the von Wintelstein estates
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Anon10/18/25, 20:19No.18085206
>The Peace of Forbach saw no territorial changes in Europe aside from the annexation of a sovereign monastic community by the newly installed Count Joseph III of Bumblefugger
>Holy Roman Emperor Charles XXII was also forced to pay war reparations to Louis XXIII
>Despite ostensibly winning the war and having fulfilled every war goal, namely that of humiliating Austria, France was left straddled by debt and was left on the verge of bankruptcy while Louis XXIII and his court unwisely spent all the reparations money on alcohol, gambling, prostitutes, and building palaces for his ten illegitimate sons
>Despite not getting any new land Prussia's military performance in the war earned them widespread respect and enhanced their standing in Europe
>Despite being on the losing side Britain walked away from the Peace of Forbach with every one else's colonies
>Two days after the end of the Twelve Years War, named as such because from start to finish it lasted eleven years and seven months, Russia invaded the Ottomans and so began the next major war in Europe