Anon10/17/25, 06:54No.18566130
I don’t know, it’s complicated, and idk if I’m the right one to answer. I don’t call myself a “Chad” or alpha because that is corny, and it’s shitty to brag about your looks or even imply that you could brag about them. Nobody likes that guy. But I was born with a good face. Good eyes, nose, lips, jaw, hair. I am tall, and have a lean build.I got a lot of girls as a teen, I had over a dozen girlfriends by the time I turned 21. It was something I really focused on at the time and put a lot of energy into. I practiced and learned how to navigate socially, use my looks to charm, steal girlfriends and get away with cheating, the sort of underhanded and narcissistic behavior you’d expect from someone running up their body count in a vain pursuit.However, I am a human, and a lot has happened in my life. First off, as a teen I was a major drug addict, and entering my 20s I got clean, which took a lot of time and focus. Then I began suffering from an unseen illness that causes me a lot of physical pain, and had to learn to cope with that, which is something I was and am reluctant to dump on anyone else.Although I think I physically look better than I ever have, and I still enjoy the privileges of that in certain situations, I am ultimately a deeply depressed and cerebral individual, and that’s probably why I’m here just like you.I think a big part of chasing love is the need to communicate one’s personality to a lover, and receive validation. I felt like I reached a point where I had nothing else left to say, no more need to validate myself, and had to become someone I myself found truly interesting.Thus began years of solitude, and in attempting to brave the abyss and come out greater, somewhere along I must have gone astray. I probably overcorrected too much from being a sociopathic piece of shit, but I simply am a more withdrawn person by nature. I was living a lie by trying to embody some sort of playboy persona
