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Anonymous07/10/25, 22:21No.2930419Stupid accidents stories when doing diy stuff.
> My big office chair gives up under my fat ass and the metal bracket underneath breaks
> Decide to weld it back
> Forget that the chair's piston was in compression.
> With the heat of the welding the piston inner mechanism breaks and releases instantly.
> It hits me square in the face.
> Fortunately i had the welding helmet on but the hit still splits my lip open and hurt my teeth.
> Have to tell everybody is not herpes.
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Replies
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Anon07/10/25, 23:21No.2930435
>need to rip down a 4x1, 6x2 whatever
>grab skill saw
>cut towards me
>cut my middle finger tip damn near in half
>start going into slight shock
>start laughing my ass off
>mommy brings me to doctor
>4 stitches
I was 17>felt like killing myself that day
>long depression
>grab skill saw
>had the bright idea to try and cut one of my hoodie strings off
>got much to close to my neck>working on my van
>electrical issues
>looking at wires
>mice
>dig arm deeper into engine bay
>slip my elbow past metal support, or whatever it was
>arm stuck for 2 hours
>someone finally got home and grabbed some oil
>elbow bruised for weeks
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Anon07/11/25, 19:50No.2930658
>first time welding
>Thingy stops glowing
>grab the obviously still hot piece of metal
>*sound of meat in a frying pan* for a brief moment
Lesson learned
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Anon07/12/25, 01:37No.2930717
Most accidents and injuries are from willfully continuing with something you know is wrong.
No more cowboy shit, the amount of times I should've been skewered in the taint or abdomen by a piece of metal doing parcour to get to the back of my 10x10 shop when it's literally completely full and can't get to the back wall.
Same with mistakes on projects, if something seems like a bad idea, stop and get the right thing instead of doing more damage, did the same thing today on something because I didn't grab a torch.
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Anon07/12/25, 01:58No.2930722
>working in the baggage pit of an a300 jet
>go to step out on to the ladder, slip and fall 8 feet to the floor
>nothing hurt but my pride>welding at home
>forget to wear arm covers
>get second degree burn on my left upper arm
>smells like cooked ham for 2 weeks
>probably will get cancer there>walking across the hangar
>someone distracts me
>keep walking
>turn head back in direction I am walking
>walk right in to a piece of seat track sticking off of a storage shelf
>stitches on forehead
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Anon07/12/25, 02:05No.2930725
>11 years old
>building stuff with my dad in his really cool workshop
>use bandsaw
>cut a 1/16 in deep groove in my thumb
>my mother bans me from ever going back in there
>later she divorces my dad to get on welfare
>cunt
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Anon07/12/25, 02:19No.2930728
>my brother is climbing up a ladder rated at 250lbs
>he's 6'4" and over 300lbs at the time
>can you guess what happened next?
>he was over half way up to his roof
>whole thing caught on security camera
>messed up one of his knees and his back
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Anon07/12/25, 08:34No.2930798
>be 15
>have a coil of copper wire
>need a straight section for a project i was making
>need a handle to tug the wire to straighten it up
>get a bright idea that knife handle would do the job
>Wrap one end of a 3 meter wire around a radiator and the other around a knife handle
>tug
>oops, knife slipped
>a clean cut from the base of my thumb down to the base of my palm
Was too afraid to tell parents so i just washed it with peroxide and closed it with bandaids
Did you know that meat inside of your hand is purple? And tendons are off white.
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Anon07/12/25, 13:09No.2930839
>cut chain lock with angle grinder
>pick up hot bit of chain
>TSHHHHHHH
Don't say give it back Jamal, it was my lock.
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Anon07/12/25, 21:44No.2930930
One time I was cutting the sleeves off a polo I was wearing while I was driving, using a pocket knife, and I hit a bump then cut my arm pretty bad
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Anon07/12/25, 22:32No.2930936
>removing cabinets from Metro station in telecom room
>ask coworker to kill the breaker
>test circuit, it's dead
>start cutting wires
>BOOM
>mfw home runs to each cabinetSame day>removing conduit from cabinets
>conduit locknut only backs off 1/8th of an inch. not enough room to pull it out of the cabinet
>go up the escalators to the work van to grab my grinder
>get to the top of the station
>pigeon standing by the door
>open the door for the pigeon and watch him walk right out
>grab the grinder
>grind the locknut off the conduit
>set off the smoke detectors
>fire alarms going off in Metro station
>fire department shows up
>tell them we must've kicked up some dust despite it smelling like a welding shop in the closet (no hot work permit)
>they buy it
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Anon07/12/25, 22:42No.2930939
>direct competitor install non uv rated indoor only cable penetrating roof to antenna
>cable is completely destroyed despite being only a year old
>offer solution of pulling new properly rated cable to directly replace old cable
>customer says yes and we go back the next day
>tape old cable to new cable with a few rolls of electrical tape
>lube up the new cable
>go up stairs and start pulling
>pull out my back for the first time in my life in early 20s
>give up pulling
>take the 150 feet of conduit apart on the roof to finish the job
>fire department inspector shows up and aggressively scolds me for fixing work the original company should've fixed
>"just doing my job bro"
>he chills out and I give him the damaged cable while he starts bitching that he'll ban our competitor from his citycompetitor continues to install this cable outside for another year. When they're finally forced to fix the issue they cheap out and paint the cable with uv resistant paint. Guess what it's still not weather rated. Buddy who works their suggested using the correct cable and management told him to shut the fuck up.
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Anon07/12/25, 22:50No.2930941
>Installing a specialized computer set up in a new police department
>Going the extra miles to make everything look good
>Installing clips and screws under the desk to hold the wires in place.
>Particle board particles get in my eye because I wasn't wearing safety glasses
>Spend the rest of the day crying and washing my eyes out at the sink>Fixing corroded electrical connector
>Have my safety glasses on
>Soak the entire thing in contact cleaner
>Move the wire and connector rather quickly to start soaking the other side
>A drop of contact cleaner somehow gets around my safety glasses and lands in my eye
>Look like this the rest of the day
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Anon07/12/25, 23:14No.2930944
>Parents installing a new oven
>Volunteer to wire it since they're not really all that handy
>Lose grip of the grounding wire while trying to tighten it
>Reflex kick in and have moves to catch it
>Back panel of the oven is all rough cut sheet metal because who's going to be behind the oven?
>Inch long, deep gash in my palm
>Just clean and bandage it, have to change bandages a bunch since it probably needed stitches, or a butterfly at the very least>Switch to shaving with a double edge safety razor
>Go whole hog and buy a pack of a brazillion off Amazon
>Also have a 3D printer
>Make some silly holder for the razor blade with no real purpose outside of maybe decorative cuts in dough before baking
>Screwing it together to play with it
>Hand slips, screwdriver turns, blade twists out
>Another deep gash in my finger>Building Pinewood Derby car for Cub Scouts
>Doing something with a pencil and really going crazy with it, scribbling madly with an ice pick grip
>Run off the car and stab myself in the palm
>Still have a graphite colored mark almost 30 years laterAnd the best part? This is all my left hand. This isn't mentioning numerous other things that happened to it like dislocated middle finger in 4th grade, smashing the tip of my thumb at work, getting stabbed in the palm by someone else with a pencil about an inch over from my 'car accident', and a punch of other little scars I don't have specific memories for.
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Anon07/14/25, 04:57No.2931237
>be 19
>fancy a female
>lets carve her a thing out of balsa because I'm poor
>get bored with task
>decide to do a big cut to save time
>knife stuck
>change my grip and pull harder
>knife goes thru the wood
>knife goes thru my hand
She did, but also called me a retard for slicing myself
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Anon07/14/25, 09:25No.2931260
>have an old TV for my Nintendo as a kid
>TV dies one day
>sits there broken for a year
>one day curiosity gets the best of me
>open it up with a butter knife because no screwdriver
>see something like pic related
>it's been unplugged for a year, what can go wrong?
>start taking off every screw I can find
>knife manages to touch both contacts of a large capacitor
>ZAP
>drop knife and recoil in shock
>felt like someone had punched me as hard as possible in my fingertip, knife had a black burn mark on it
>mum hears commotion, comes in and yells at my dumb ass and I get in troubleMy hand was numb for a few minutes and red but that was it, I learned what a capacitor was that day.
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Anon07/14/25, 11:34No.2931273
>be me, a kid
>salvaging old hard drive for magnets
>no eyepro
>decide to smash the plate as hard as I can
>shit flies everywhere except into my eyes
>pause for a second
>think how incredibly lucky free lesson I've just received
>never go without eyepro again
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Anon07/14/25, 17:58No.2931351
>middle school
>in the middle of class, my pencil is dull
>no pencil sharpener on hand
>I’ve used a knife before to sharpen pencils, scissors are fancy knives, why not use scissors to sharpen my pencil?
>use scissors to sharpen pencil, except the blade manages to slip and leaves a deep cut right on the joint of my right thumb since I was using that hand to hold the blade.
>blood starts pouring, very little pain surprisingly, think I could see my muscles since I cut that deep
>class just stares at me, I go to the office
>You’ll need stitches anon! Go home with a bandaid on the cut.
>dad literally just uses paper towel to compress and stop the bleeding, then superglues it shut so it’s not bleeding
>gets properly bandaged, have to go through like 2-3 bandages because the old ones get all crusty
>scar isn’t that big, and thumb mobility isn’t impeded, stitches would’ve probably fucked it up worse.
I also managed to staple that same thumb while trying to refill a stapler with fresh staples and that fucking HURT
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Anon07/14/25, 18:42No.2931366
>be me
>be smith/welder apprentice
>get assigned to cut and assemble PVC piping on my own
>have to clean all the cut ends of pipes with strong chemicals before putting pvc glue on both sides of the joint
>this creates an amazing seal so you have to move quick and make sure you use the right joints at the right angles
>UnsupervisedApprentice.exe
>inevitably fuck up and glued the wrong joints together and only noticed after i assembled another the wrong way
>grab coworker to get advice and help to fix
>observe coworker fix one
>coworker fucks off to narnia, so i try to fix the other fuckup
>slap it with an angle grinder and try to wiggle the rest of it off with non-locking folding pocket knife
>need alot of force and wiggles in different directions
>wiggle in the wrong direction and snap knife shut onto my finger holding the hilt
>panic
>look around for coworkers
>spot one behind me who wasnt welding
>stare at cut while washing it to try to find out if i need stitches
>decide i need stitches
>coworker puts on bandage and i tell my boss i think i need stitches
>fuck off towards local hospital
>dunno how to go to ER
>text mom
>says i need to call even more local doctors office and have them look at my finger before they can tell me to go to ER
>at this point 2 hours has passed while im wearing a tight bandage and my fingertip has gone from normal in colour to blue, purple, grey and then back to purple
>panic setting in
>finally get to doctors office
>get told to wash my hand
>doctor plugs the sink and lets water run filling the sink
>tear off bandage and put my hand in
>bleed so much i make an underwater pool of blood
>doctor pretty much calls me a pussy
>glues the wound shut and bandages it
>now have sick scar
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Anon07/14/25, 23:13No.2931468
You are honestly lucky it wasn't worse. Those things can explode. Could have maimed you, deafened you, etc. Welding anywhere near it is crazy stupid.
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Anon07/14/25, 23:22No.2931469
Fab a rolling dolly base for a truck or car seat. I used a driver seat and base from an early oughts GM van, and a pax seat from some car I forget since it was in self-service salvage. Then I used a car seat on a dolly holding a powered recliner base.No chair has the engineering invested in crashworthy vehicle seats.If you can rape the powered base out of a junk electric recliner (which I did to disassemble it for easy movement and disposal) you can as I did bolt that to a seat base and use both sets of adjustments. Powered recliners exist to raise diabeests who cannot stand so you want one for your old age.Make the dolly wide enough to be (very) stable. Use non-marring casters if that matters.
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Anon07/16/25, 03:04No.2931765
when i did this it wasn't compressed and a bunch of ooze just leaked out. didn't work afterward
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Anon07/17/25, 04:05No.2932048
this is much less impressive than the rest of the thread but it's my story
> dryer is being wonky
> wife notices the door sensor metal is bent
> gets pliers to pull it back
> snap
> dryer now dead
> get new door sensor
> unscrew everything to take the dryer top off
> forget about the plastic latch on the front and just pull straight up instead of forward then up
> snap
> realize there's also two bolts on the back that need to be removed so the top can lift off
> drag dryer back from wall to get at the bolts
> forget theres an exhaust hose
> snap
> unplug old dryer sensor
> realize it's screwed in as well
> unscrew it from the outside, forget it's not plugged in or attached to anything anymore
> thud
> try to take off the front panel to get the old sensor out from under the drum
> forget there are screws on the bottom bot just the sides
> snap (well bent but idk the onomotopia for that it was kinda like a snap)
> give up
> reattach exhaust hose (actually do things well for once)
> screw everything back together
> try to put the plastic covers over the screws back
> can't fucking tell up from down and just push as hard as I can because I'm already mad
> snap
> shove everything back together and hit it until it fits
> dryer works again
> throw laundry that's been sitting in the washer all day in, call it a day
> turn to go inside
> wet shirt on the ground
> thud
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Anon07/17/25, 17:41No.2932163
>replacing switch
>do it live!
>open neuteral bundle
>lights flicker
>light above staircase bursts into flames
>light at top of stairs fries itself
>mfw
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Anon07/17/25, 17:43No.2932164
>Ripping a long piece of hickory
>Send a huge knot right through the blade
>Knot explodes; ricochets off my watch (shattering the screen) and pops me in the face on the nose and above my eye, making me bleed
Was away from the shop for awhile before that. I'm a bit more cautious getting back to things now.
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Anon07/18/25, 00:20No.2932266
>replacing mainboard on 3d printer after years of troubles
>remove a red and black paired cable from screw terminals on old mainboard
>put wires on the ground and place the new mainboard into the electronics bay
>place pair of wires into new board, red to positive, black to negative
>power on to make sure it works
>something smokes, detonates and showers me in sparks
>power it down and notice the pair of wires i THOUGH i had just connected sitting on the ground next to me
>i had just plugged a 24v board directly into 240v mainsin my defence what kind of retards use red and black cables for mains instead of blue and brown?
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Anon07/18/25, 03:14No.2932294
Not particularly diy but when I was about 3-4 years old my aunt was renovating a shitty house and garage in industrial Racine with plenty of my other family members, being a barely sentient child I tried to pick up a 24 inch crowbar to help the adults.
I crushed my middle finger to a sand like state and the other was shattered.
My mom says the nurses struggled heavily with how badly I thrashed in pain, and honestly in the little bit of lizard brain memory I can kind of remember the sepia hospital windows, the ceiling tiles and thrashing about something fierce while people try to hold me down. If you'd been in a 1990's us hospital you would understand the scenery.I really wish my parents had requested my X-ray in triplicate when I ate a drywall screw when I was a toddler, my acid reflux is legendary
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Anon07/18/25, 03:22No.2932297
Hook up oscilloscope probe. Attach a ground clip. Get another probe and stick it somewhere else, also ground it. Kaboom.
Constantly happens to me.
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Anon07/23/25, 03:20No.2933464
Stabbed myself at last week's bonsai club meeting, lads. Bled all over the place. Not sure I'm going to live this one down anytime soon.
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Anon07/24/25, 03:24No.2933745
>cutting metal plate with angle grinder
>it's just one quick cut so I don't put any PPE on
>in shorts and sandals and no eye protection
>holding metal down on something with one hand and holding grinder with the other
>grinder kicks back and I lose my grip
>drops onto my foot while still spinning
>mfw
>narrowly misses larger veins and tendons on top of foot
>bounces off the side of my foot at the base of my big toe
>keep it closed with a butterfly and limp for several weeks
>must've been pretty deep because it took a month to healI still think about how lucky I got that it didn't sever a tendon or something, and also that it was a paddle type that turns off as soon as you let it go.
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Anon07/24/25, 05:13No.2933762
>working on old bike
>Allen bolt for side cover strips
>Go to angle grind a slot
>Bit of brake clean on the ground I thought was too little to ignite ignites
>Scares the shit out of me and I drop the grinder
>Lands on my foot still spinning and drives across
>Osha disapproved safety sandals for the loss
>Cuts about half of my foot about inline with the ball
>Doesn't go tendon/bone deep but deep enough
>Only stitches I've ever needed in my life
>Walking sucked for a while>Helping friend do turbo swap on his diesel
>Going to put exhaust back on
>Pipe won't fuckin reach the outlet for some reason despite being the exact same part number turbo
>No clamps or adjustability in the exhaust anywhere that would help
>Resort to wrenching it over with a 4 foot pry bar
>I'm prying while he's trying to get the v band on
>He's having a hell of a time and my arms are getting tired
>Brilliant idea to hold it with my knee to rest my arms
>Actually works well
>For 20 seconds
>Bar slips and the head hits me square in the front fucking tooth
>Must've reflexively beared my teeth when it happened otherwise it would have flayed my lip instead
>Go to dentist
>Oh wow that's so bad
>I don't even know if I can fix that
>Honestly you might lose the tooth
>*Cartoon gulp*
>Spends like 30 minutes cutting a channel over the crack for the glue and then glues it
>Works perfectly and I've had no issues for the past 7 or 8 years>99% sure this is a real memory but could also be a hallucination/fabrication
>Be young child in kindergarten
>Teacher has an automatic stapler
>See her use it a few times
>Become intrigued
>Go to press the trigger with either my finger or thumb
>Memory goes blank so I must have blacked out
>Resumes with me having a bandage over the fingernail
>No permanent damage and I don't think I ever went to the doctor for it so it must not have pierced the nail
>Or I was extremely lucky and it just so happened to be empty
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Anon08/02/25, 23:36No.2935902
>Testing shear strength of a stainless screw
>Ali frame on compact laminate
>Screw doesn't break
>Laminate does, pic related
>The amount of force that takes moves until it hits an immovable object
>That object was my face
>Four stitches in my top lip and now I'm going to scar and look like I have a cleft palate
That was three days ago, not the best way to spend a Thursday
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Anon08/05/25, 00:34No.2936385
>> With the heat of the welding the piston inner mechanism breaks and releases instantly.
BRUTAL, op...
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Anon08/05/25, 00:42No.2936388
>2023... was putting small wheels in some old chink cabinet my mother had in the kitchen.
>used glue for wood + big ass screws, to ensure things are sturdy.
>forced it too much, busted left hand in the process.
>2025... my hand still feel some ache eventually. Getting old is shit.
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Anon08/05/25, 22:40No.2936550
>get deeply depressed in my 40s
>don't work out for 4 years
>decide to put in some wire channels above a door for a clean look
>step off top step of stool to ground
>ankle folds slightly inward
>"I'm not supporting that, fatass"
>sickening *CRUUUUUUNCH*
>ankle fucking obliterated
>scream fuck louder than god
>live totally alone
>dying but still too financially aware to call american ambulance
>literally crawl to car screaming
>grab a mop by its dirty tendrils to use as crutch
>drive badly to hospital with left foot
>hobbling in to ER at one inch per minute on left foot with structurally failing mopcrutch, losing breath because organs have slowly decayed
>Get 10 feet from door before useless roastie nurse who has been watching this goes "want me t' get uh wheelchair?
>Get wheelchaired to check-in
>Stand up dying, working out financials, roastie nurse takes away wheelchair for some reason
>Done, standing there wobbling with ghostface, some hick says "hey let me get you a wheelchair"
>He wheels one over, not paying attention to wheelchair spatial, nails me in the back of the legs and knocks me over, almost break other ankle
>"oh shit damn I'm dumb!" Yup you fucking are
>wait 2 hrs, get room, totally forgotten for 4 more hours
>Nurse comes in "ok let's send you home"
>"Do you guys mind even fucking xraying me or sending in a doctor first?
>Oh lawd no one seen you yet? haha
Fuck me but also FUCK Ohio medical.
I'm in shape now, dont be me and don't live here
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Anon08/06/25, 01:00No.2936571
Not really /diy/ level but
>have minifridge with little freezer section
>ices over because it's a minifridge
>ice gets so bad the door doesn't close anymore
>guess I should take it off
>start poking at ice with a knife
>enough to get the door to close
>alldone.jpg
>notice fridge runs really rough next few days
>the freezer section has the refrigerant running through it
>i jabbed it with a knife and punctured it
>fucking idiot
>i actually recall reading in the manual specifically not to do that
>ruined minifridge and there's strong refrigerant/chemical smell in room
>run fans and open windows for a few days
>everything turns out ok
Really no clue what I was thinking with that, I could have jammed the ice with a chopstick or something and it probably would have come off and I'd still have a working minifridge.
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Anon08/07/25, 14:59No.2936871
>decide to build one of those diy split keyboards
>had never soldered anything in my life
>cheap ass amazon soldering setup, using a little steel wool to clean the iron periodically
>the wires start spreading out and not really scrubbing well just by poking the iron
>clearly i should grab the sponge with my bare hand while im poking the iron through it so it can get scrubbed
>sudden smell of burnt skin, i don't remember it really hurting at all, no blood either
>just poked a little hole in my finger
it was pretty deep, but it did heal up fine. another less notable accident was placing the iron down on my wood desk and making black spots on it, as well as placing it right over the power cable and melting the plastic (multiple times lol)
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Anon08/07/25, 18:29No.2936923
cracked my femur trying to pry a massive rusted nail that used to hold the skirting boardI wrestled with it for some five minutes and with a final mightly tug it ripped away from the wall and the crowbar slammed into my leglater I just cut all the remaining nails flush with the wall using a multitool
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Anon08/07/25, 21:59No.2936966
>wake up
>hungover as hell
>how tf I got home??!!
>worry
>hurry into garage fo check on car
>yep, drove home, car is okay
it's just that I must have started changing tires for whatever reason, dropped her on a brake disc and then called bedtime
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Anon08/08/25, 09:36No.2937044
Last night I had my face too close to a drill while trying to use a 2" hole saw in an awkward position and also forgot the drill was in low speed. It caught and snapped around, busting me in the nose and now I get to explain the cuts to coworkers only 2 weeks after drilling into my hand at work.
Anyone know of retard-proof alternatives to drills?
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Anon08/16/25, 09:56No.2938491
> had me a set of wonderful trophy locking pliers.
> took them out to admire.
> guy fixing the bathroom tiles needed one to undo the valves.
> gives it back to me covered in cement, sand, water, and whatever dripped out of me pissing in the morning.
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Anon08/20/25, 16:08No.2939499
> 12 year old me
> hand sawing a pot in half to put plants
> half way through, decide to use the saw as a machete
> hits my thumbnail and puts two holes in it
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Anon08/20/25, 19:27No.2939527
>be me
>build furnace + forge for blacksmith
>do blacksmithing
>put one part outside fire to cool down
>brother comes out
>grabbyhandsmcgee
>Tell him "Don't touch it, still hot"
>it literally just came off from red hot and looked like normal metal
>he tells me it can't be that hot
>grabs it
>"Ouch that's still hot!"
The look on me face was one of befuddlement, but I can't help but chuckle a bit when thinking about it.
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Anon08/21/25, 05:01No.2939631
Not me, but when some operations guys try to tighten hydraulic lines>1/2” from seating on the O-rings
Well at least they tried to help. And they’re self sealing lines so it didn’t blow 30gal of hydraulic fluid everywhere which is a good thing, only a gallon or two.
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Anon09/03/25, 23:19No.2942770
>in uni studying engineering to go into military aviation
>all I want to do is bomb sandnogs
>be cutting cable on a tree during summer job
>stupidly cut up with the knife
>knife goes into right eye and rattles around
>destroys most of the retina and iris
>3 months of surgery later, I get out of hospital
>blind in that eye, the iris is a mess, but kept the eye
>and of course, the piloting dream died
>now a desk jockey engineer that gets blinded in the sunlight because of surgery cataractsWear your safety goggles
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Anon09/08/25, 17:10No.2943785
> Bolts the length I needed for an assembly didn't exist.
>Use way longer ones, cut then shorter after installation
>Go and eat lunch
>Forget that I was supposed to grind or sand the cut ends when I get back
>Start assembly anyway
>Used a shorter socket than I should have, slips off the nut while trying to tighten it
> End up punching one of the cut bolts with my pinky finger
>Whoops, go inside and put a bandaid on it without even inspecting the wound
>Keep working
>30 minutes later realize I've bled completey through the bandaid, go inside to change it
>Go inside and pull the bandaid off
>"Oh wow, so that's what a tendon looks like"
>faint onto the floor
>wake up 10 minutes later and do a better job bandaging my finger this time, stop working on everything for the next week to make sure the wound doesn't reopen
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Anon09/22/25, 01:47No.2946217
>cutting trees prior to hurricane coming in
>mostly small pine
>sub 4" trees
>brother-in-law helping
>he doesn't stump off the trees
>leaves them 12+ inch tall
>I ask him several times to stump them to the dirt
>I cut a tree
>take a few steps back
>trip on tree he didn't stump
>land on a another tree he didn't stump
>broke my back on impact
>dropped the chainsaw in my lap
>mm from death
>rushed to ER with team of doctors waiting for retard with chainsaw injury to groin
>it was just my upper hip, dick and balls okay
>doctors dispersed
>several hundred stitches
>broke back was not discovered at the time
>went years before the pain got beyond what I could self-medicate through
>had back surgery
Brother-in-law also fish hooked me with a bungy cord. Broke a tooth and knocked several loose. Plenty of stitches on that one too.
He has nearly killed me several times. We don't hang out anymore.
A
Anon09/22/25, 21:50No.2946380
>trying to get into pyrography
>Sawing a round off of a log
>Taking too long, so I figure, hey, I'm great at chopping
>Chop
>CHOP
>Cut it in half
>All my dreams die
>Saw off a round from the other end properly
>Put it in a plastic bag
>Mouldy
>Dreams die againThat's all I have really. Just wanted to bump. You guys are great, these stories make me laugh and make me cringe out loud all at once. I admire you all sincerely
A
Anon09/22/25, 23:55No.2946404
>spend the whole day clearing a piece of land using my chainsaw with only safety glasses end hearing protection.
>Basically waiting for something to go wrong.
>Nothing bad happens
>Go home to eat something
>Take saugases (frikandellen) out of the freezer
>They are stuck together
>Use knife to pry them apart
>Frikandellen came apart, knife ends up in my hand
>Bleeding like a motherfucker so put first aid stuff on it (I'm drunk right now and can't remember the English word, verband in Dutch)
>Fast forward three days
>Hand is so swollen I can't even hold a cigarette with it
>Go to Docter, they reopen the wound
> Pulls out a piece of flesh
>Piece of frikandel got stuck in my hand>Mfw I was chopping and sawing the whole day and the most dangerous parts was deepfrying some frikandellen
>Mfw I have no face because I'm phone posting and can't be arsed to Google some meme
A
Anon09/24/25, 15:07No.2946735
Ive got one>Frugal me, tv keeps taking an age to turn on
>google it, fucked capacitor
>decide £1 cap is better than £400tv
>find it, change it,test it
>works fine
>thought id leave the back off in case it stops working
>faster to fix again that way
>ADHD, just leave it indefinitely
>months later, rushing to move room around to watch football
>Pick up TV while its on
>Grab right across the power input, open contacts
>Stand there for like 10-15 seconds
>cant move at all, body completely unresponsive
>Then I made a caveman anger grunt as I managed to throw it out of my hands
>Mrs says go to hospital
>Fuck that, finish room change
>Liverpool won!
A
Anon09/24/25, 16:22No.2946738
>insulating wooden shop
>bought styrofoam insulation because it's cheaper than fiberglass
>just have to cut it to size and put it in the joists
>actually this is a son of a bitch to do
>have to pound the boards into place with a 2 lb hammer
>it takes a week to cut and pound everything into place
>stand on a shitty tiny stool to reach the top of the board
>stool kicks out from under me when swinging the hammer
>direct hit to thumb
>thumbnail falls off (it grew back)
Should have bought the fiberglass. Don't ever insulate joists with styrofoam, the money you save will not be worth it.
A
Anon10/01/25, 23:10No.2948242
>200 feet up a tower
>replacing power connector
>cable in left hand razor in right
>stripping cable jacket lengthwise towards me
>razor slips
>left palm is now slit from index to ring
>send down for some alcohol wipes (for cleaning fibers)
>stick them to my hand with electrical tape
>shove the whole mess into a work glove
>micheal jackson the rest of the job
>had to climb down on that hand
>get home, wash it, douse with iodine, gauze and bandage
>just douse with iodine every day until healed
>also get fresh gloves and micheal jackson until healed
>still had to climb
Healed pretty clean, might've used krazy glue too. Lesson learned, really.